"The Hole That Must Be Filled"

Logfile from tm - 12/3/02
This world is Pueblo 1.0 enhanced
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 Moonshade seeks Cutter out to discuss the recent emotional events within 
Lostholt. 

The moons descend toward their daily resting place and a hush settles over the 
forest as the nocturnal hunters, two and four legged, return to their dens to 
bed down before the dawn. Everything is quiet save for the rustling of the 
branches over the holt blown by a high summer breeze that doesn't quite make it 
to the forest floor. Already, the heat of the coming day begins to swell and 
Cutter, having found his den to be too confined has found himself a cool place 
to rest in the alcove. He lays stretched full length along one of the shelves 
shaped into the rock walls and trails the tips of his fingers in the pool below.

This is where Moonshade finds the younger wolfrider. Although by no means so 
young anymore - she pauses, gazing upon him in the relative safety of a higher 
branch before slipping closer and eventually into the Alcove itself. **Cutter, 
may we talk?**

Rarely does Moonshade seek him out so her send quickly draws him from his 
reverie. Lupine eyes shift toward the descending figure and the corners of his 
mouth twitch in the beginnings of a smile. He lifts his hand from the water's 
surface and shifts so that he is sitting up, one leg hangs over the edge while 
the other is bent toward his chest. He leans his back against the wall, one arm 
propped across his bent knee while the other hand motions for her to join him, 
**Of course.** he replies.

Moonshade sends openly ** You reminded me of Bearclaw just then,** she sends as 
she settles across the pool from him. **Before taking the chief's knot...** The 
thought is spidery and slippery to grasp. For a moment, the tanner merely looks 
across the water with frank curiosity and a troubled pensiveness. **Why do you 
go to Sorrow's End? **

A self-derisive chuckle escapes from Cutter as he shakes his head, **You see him 
in me and Strongbow never does..** There is a sad cast to his eyes as he lets 
his gaze shift to the rippling water below. He seems to consider his answer for 
some time before he answers the tanner's question. Finally, he sighs and sends, 
**There is something broken within me that I can not fix here.** Slowly, he 
lifts his gaze from the water and meets Moonshade's **I go to seek Savah's 
council and attend the festival.**

Moonshade sends openly ** Did you tell that to Strongbow? **

Cutter frowns a bit, displaying another expression reminiscent of Bearclaw, and 
shakes his head, **No.**
A pause and he adds, **... I only told him that I wished to attend the 
festival.**

Moonshade isn't sure if she should reach out to him or not, so she keeps her 
hands curled in her lap, violet eyes sympathetic. **Is it such a hard thing to 
tell?** They - Strongbow and Moonshade - both knew something was wrong, just 
Moonshade sees a little more.

Cutter smiles but, there is a tinge of bittersweet to the expression, **Is it so 
difficult to believe that it is, Moonshade?** his eyes drift away for a moment, 
only to return to meet her's with a pointed question in the cerulean depths.

You say "It's not difficult, Cutter... but..." A small growl of frustration 
slips from her. "Why are you playing this game with him? With us?"

Cutter's brows arch high on his forehead at the frustrated growl though they 
slide low in a puzzled frown, "Game? I can not lead and yet I can not be part of 
the pack. I will be able to do neither until this...." he searches for a fitting 
word here, ".. hole is filled."I do not wish for his concern. He is chief now 
and he has enough to deal with without worrying over me, too."

Moonshade softens. "But you did not make the reason clear why you were leaving 
the holt, Cutter. To your chief..." She pauses, "whether you wanted to or not. 
Telling Strongbow was not the same as explaining. You want to challenge him, 
but..." She lets her soft voice slide to nothing, her palms opening upward.

Cutter's gaze returns to Moonshade's face and his expression is a mixture of 
annoyance and frustration though whether it is aimed at Moonshade or himself 
remains a mystery, "I told him that I want to attend the festival and that 
should be reason enough. Doreel and Oriolle are to be taken to Savah, one more 
blade to keep them from running before they are healed should make Strongbow 
happy. The holt will be safe so, he has no reason to keep me here, Moonshade. 
Why should I explain further?"

Cutter locksends ** Besides.. he knows of the hole within me... **

Moonshade sends openly ** Would that have been enough of an answer for -you-? **

Cutter does frown now, **Have I ever doubted any one in this tribe, Moonshade? 
Have I ever questioned your motives for doing anything?** He's never questioned 
any member of the tribe's motives.. not unless the feeling that what they were 
doing was possibly nefarious. Certainly, he is not like his father here, in this 
he is more like Joyleaf.

Moonshade sends openly ** Yes. When there was good reason to.** She responds 
easily. **Cutter - you have been chief since you were practically a cub. My 
lifemate was not born to be a chief, but now he is for whatever the reason. It 
is not so easy for him, but it is harder when a member of the tribe disregards 
him so easily.** She pauses and then does reach out to Cutter to take up his 
hands. **What you both do, you do for the tribe.** 

Cutter lets Moonshade take his hand and he looks down at her smaller hand in 
his. He sighs and nods, **I am of no good to the tribe this way, Moonshade.. and 
I can not tell Strongbow myself.** Personally, he's had enough of confrontation 
with the new chief for awhile. He just wants to be out of the way for now to 
heal the rend in his spirit.

Moonshade sends openly ** Think long and hard Cutter whether you need to be 
chief again.** Need had a strong, but curious mental tonation compared to the 
rest of the thought. **Can you simply be one of the pack?** There is a feeling 
of the rest of the unsent thought: Or are you its leader? **

Cutter's mouth curls into a small smile before he tugs Moonshade's hand, drawing 
the tanner close to him. The embrace is tight but not to the point that she can 
not draw breath. **I will be back before too much time has passed.** It is the 
only answer that he can give right now because, not even he is certain of that 
answer.

Moonshade returns the embrace and pulls back to look at Cutter's face, smoothing 
one of her gently calloused hands across his cheek. **No, do not be gone long. 
Someone must return and remind us that the Way is not always so unbending.** Her 
lips curl to a fond smile.

Cutter smiles and rests his forehead against Moonshade's for just a moment, **It 
is good to know that not all have lost thier faith in me.** He keeps the send 
private so that only she can hear. Then he pulls away from her, "Well, I suppose 
I should get ready to leave with Mender and the rest. I understand that it will 
not be long."

Moonshade nods and stands. There is a flash of a smirk as she states in a soft 
voice, "Do remember, Cutter, that I will stand by Strongbow whatever decision 
that is his final one." Her expression turns vixenish, "So remember who is 
higher in the pack than you when you return."

Cutter chuckles and nods, **How could I forget?** he asks with a wry grin.. the 
first true one that he's shown in many a day.

Moonshade shares in soft laughter before leaving the Alcove. She sends warmth 
and safe journey and heads for the tree where she will find her den and her bed.

Cutter sighs as the laughter fades and he leans back against the rock, looking 
up into the canopy overhead. His expression is thoughtful yet, the smile still 
hovers at the corners of his mouth even as his thoughts drift far away.

FIN