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Death Troopers (Star Wars)

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Y’know how sometimes, even if you know the book is probably going to be mediocre at best and is even likely to outright suck, you kind of have to read it anyway? Death Troopers, a Star Wars novel by Joe Schreiber, was like that for me.

‘Cause, okay, yeah, Star Wars plus zombies.

I know, I know. But I’m still enough of a Star Wars fan, and definitely enough of a zombie fan, that I could not resist seeing how an author tried to get a zombie story into the Star Wars universe. Plus, given that I saw a spoiler about two of the main Star Wars characters getting grafted into this plot (and it will probably not be much of a stretch for anyone familiar with me to guess which characters would pull me in), well okay yeah fine I’m there.

Survey says: overall, meh. I had two main beefs with this story: one, that the aforementioned grafting of primary Star Wars characters into this plot had no real suspense to it, since you knew they were going to survive. The story’s set before A New Hope, so there wasn’t any doubt at all that these characters would make it. Two, that pretty much every other character is thinly sketched in at best. They’re all archetypes zombie fans have seen in countless stories elsewhere.

Although, that said, the two main characters grafted into the story are the exact right characters you’d want to graft in. And, I do have to give Schrieber props for making the one female in the plot, the prison ship’s doctor, halfway interesting.

Also, props have to be given for a reasonably creepy Star Wars-based zombie scenario. Our protagonists are on board a prison ship that comes across a seemingly abandoned Star Destroyer, which has gone adrift thanks to its crew being devastated by the unleashing of a potent virus that, of course, the Empire had been trying to develop as a weapon. A Star Destroyer IS pretty much perfect for a zombie scenario; it’s huge, and there are thousands of crewmembers at your disposal to turn into undead. Since this is Star Wars, you get the added amusement value of non-human zombies–and I must say, zombie Wookiees? Okay yeah. That’s disturbing. So are the moments with the doomed command staff of the Destroyer being discovered barricaded inside one of the shuttles, where they’ve been slowly starving to death.

And to be fair, I did actually like the ending. The Destroyer zombies start exhibiting creepier behavior (I shan’t specify what, because spoilers), and the surviving protagonists (well, aside from the aforementioned two main characters who we knew were going to survive anyway) go out on a respectably gritty note.

I gave this two stars originally, but I’m bumping up to three ’cause yeah, there was some decent creepiness here.

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Remember those huge Asian pears I mentioned? Here is a picture of one of them, next to a cute little Clementine orange! (I shall be eating several of these cute little Clementine oranges, which are miniature vitamin C bombs, for the next several days as we are entering the last two weeks of a MONSTER PROJECT at work and I CANNOT GET SICK. And we have a bug going around the office AUGH.)

My keys are included for scale, and also because Chibi!Chewbacca is adorable.

Still Life With Wookiee

Still Life With Wookiee

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Hat tip to userinfoseimaisin for Tweeting about this site, a T-shirt selling site, whose shirt of the day is possibly the most awesome T-shirt I have ever seen.

Calvin and Hobbes. Han and Chewie. Two great tastes that go great together. ;>

Go check it out folks, and FAST, because this shirt’s going away in about eight and a half more hours!

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userinfospazzkat pointed me at this last night, and I am obliged by two and a half years of playing Solo on Star Wars MUSH to share this with you all. <3 The creator did an awesome job, and apparently even won a fan film contest with it! Particular props for the voice work for Han channeling Ford quite nicely, as well as his banter with Chewie.

There's also a 3D version, but you need old-school red/cyan 3D glasses to watch that!

The Solo Adventures 2D from Daniel L Smith on Vimeo.

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userinfosolarbird gave me a heads up to this: one fan’s tribute to what Star Wars might have been like if it had been an Icelandic saga!

This is geekery I absolutely have to salute. Check it out. :)

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