Log Date: 12/7/95 Log Intro: Rillwhisper has spent most of the Whitecold at Willowholt worrying about Strongbow, ever since his unfortunate encounter with the dreams produced by Dawn's burning of mushrooms in a campfire -- and his remembrance of killing Tash. Strongbow has been holed up in the Starwillow for eights of days, and although Moonshade has sporadically emerged to bring her mate food, Rillwhisper has barely talked to her. The chieftess has had to turn her attention to other visitors in the Holt, and as spring draws into the Holt's environs, she socializes with DarkAsh, a wandering trader who has come back for another visit. But her chat with him and with No-fur and Duskshadow is interrupted at a sudden, abrupt and worried send from Moonshade: ** Take care of him. ** And then, nothing. Alarmed, Rillwhisper sends back to see if Moonshade and Strongbow are alright.... ---------- You locksend, to Strongbow: ** Archer? Tanner? Are you two alright? ** You sense in a locksend, No-fur . o O ( ? ) You sense in a locksend, Strongbow starts a little, as if roused from somewhere else. ** Yes. ** The word is quiet, and applied only to himself, and only for the moment. You locksend to Strongbow, Rillwhisper frowns. ** Archer, where's your mate? She just sent to me... ** You sense in a locksend, Strongbow seems sort of distant at that. ** She's going home. ** You push aside the leather door-hide and step through into the den. Quiet Den(#115R) A tiny den just large enough for an elf or two, this nook in the Starwillow is softly shadowed, its floor covered with a few thick, soft furs. A single shaped hollow in the wall contains a tiny candle that smells of pine when burning. The Daystar shines brightly down on the hazy green willows, waking the forest from its long Whitecold sleep. Contents: Strongbow Obvious exits: Out Rillwhisper peeks in, frowning worriedly, looking for you. Strongbow stands by the back of the tree, a scrap of apparently unused leather in his hands, though he seems unaware of its presence there. He startles a little as he realizes you've come in, and looks up. Rillwhisper studies you searchingly, expression openly worried. "Moonshade's gone?" she asks, tone rather disbelieving. Strongbow looks at you as if he doesn't really understand your words. A few breaths later, he nods once, slowly, as if unsure of the answer. Rillwhisper glances around the den, and frowns again, at the notable lack of the tanner -- and, she realizes abruptly, of the little wolf-cub. She comes nearer into the small den, crouching to avoid banging her head, and asks gravely, "Why... didn't you go with her?" Strongbow bends to a crouch from his bent stand, then sits, rather abruptly, and looks away, as if the answer requires deep thought. Finally, he returns, ** She told me...I was to stay...? ** Rillwhisper kneels in front of you, brow furrowed. You say "Do you _want_ to stay?" Strongbow looks at you, expression a bit confused, eyes unreadable; to that, he offers no answer, as if he hasn't considered that at all. Disturbed by this -- the Strongbow she knows should not be so stunned, so helpless-seeming -- Rillwhisper lifts a hand to your cheek. ** Are you alright? ** Strongbow closes his eyes for a moment, then opens them again, confusion gone, replaced by hurt. ** She...believes...I need something here... ** Rillwhisper sighs. Tell him, she wonders, what Moonshade sent? That the tanner asked _her_ to take care of him? ** What do you think? ** Strongbow looks at you for a long time, quiet. ** I...don't know if what I need...that way...is anywhere. ** He looks away then, down, at the leather in his hands. He seems a bit surprised to see it there, and drops it listlessly onto the pile of furs and clothes, where its decidedly Moonshadey color blends in with the others. Rillwhisper moves her hand down to your shoulder -- but keeps it there, suspecting that the contact is needed. She sits down before you, green gaze gentle. ** Do you want to go after her? ** Strongbow blinks, gaze lifting from the pile of leathers to meet green eyes. ** I...she didn't...seem to want...? ** The idea obviously hadn't yet occurred to him. He lifts his hand to cover yours, clasping it to his shoulder, taking some small comfort in it. His brows furrow a bit, and he sends, as if it's just now hit him, ** Have to go on. ** Rillwhisper sends gently, ** Do you know what she thought you needed here? ** Rillwhisper thinks, to herself, do you know she wants me to help you? Strongbow shakes his head a little. ** You, partly. To heal. ** He looks away, distant, then back at you. ** Heal, ** he repeats, almost a laugh this time, a wry one. ** Just go on...anyway. Past...is past. ** Rillwhisper brings her other hand up to your face, her fingertips cool, light. ** Over four eights of turns of the seasons, ** she agrees, ** though for you, now, it's as if it just happened, I think? ** Strongbow nods, eyes registering a just-found truth. He sighs slightly. Rillwhisper adds, one eyebrow slightly quirked, ** I don't need to be a healer to see that you're hurting, soul-brother. Tell me, though... if you'd been walking around all this time with a thorn in your foot, and just now found it, would you leave it in, or try to take it out? ** That flicker of a smile crosses the archer's face, and he nods a little to your wisdom. ** What, then, if it's grown over? ** ** If it's keeping you from walking, ** the chieftess answers softly, ** take your knife, and cut it free. To let your foot heal cleanly. ** Strongbow looks away. ** It isn't the same. The cut's been made...but...nothing. ** He sighs a little. Rillwhisper offers, ** Perhaps... you need someone else to help you find the thorn? ** Strongbow nods once and looks back at you, still at a loss despite his agreement. Rillwhisper loops an arm around the back of your neck, her face very close now. She sends: ** You promised to show me... perhaps I can help you find that thorn, archer. ** Strongbow is quiet for a long moment, looking away, thoughts his own. When he turns back, his eyes are clouded, though his sending opens up somewhat to you, a tone of hopelessness threaded through it. ** Too...harsh. ** His brows fall, darkening his narrowing eyes. Rillwhisper, with her right arm still curled behind your head, brings her left hand forward to smooth that dangling forelock out of your eyes. Her gaze softens. ** It might hurt less... if I help find the thorn. ** A glint of gentle humor in her eyes, then, and: ** I could at least rub your wounded foot, for you? ** Strongbow looks back at you, eyes for once glimmerless, seeking the glint in your own. As if struggling to let the send go, he assents to that much. Rillwhisper's gaze speaks -- of distant sheltering leaves, of a quiet stream, of a haven and a refuge, at least in the mind. What she sends, though, is unadorned with the trappings of earlier shared dreamings: only the friendship, affection and concern in the soul-behind-Runnel. Only her wish to help, in whatever way she can. Strongbow sighs very softly, listlessly. His next send is almost apathetic despite the memory it's soaked in, and unusually dull-edged for the archer's mind's voice. ** You would remember, then? ** Barely a question, he continues without waiting for an answer. ** It seems very little to tell. ** As an echo: ** To see. ** Rillwhisper doesn't move, doesn't look away. ** Show me? ** she suggests, very gently, encouragingly. ** Even if it's not much. ** Rillwhisper slips her left arm back to join her right, encircling you lightly, loosely. A protective circle, she hopes. Perhaps you'll feel safe enough to share this hurt, within it. Strongbow lifts a hand to his shoulder, where his bow ought to sit, and, feeling only the leathers there, he shakes his head. The slightest trace of a wry grin tugs at his mouth, as if the bow would be of no comfort anyway, and he knows it. In another place, as the archer finds your mind with his own, the bow is there, idle; steps in the trees have proved as swift as sighting through concealing leaves allows an arrow to fly. It's waiting instead of hunt and chase, and it suits the memory's hunter poorly. The archer in the den drops his hand, gentle fingers resting on your arm. Rillwhisper mentally clasps at your contact as though it were a hand that she's holding, for comfort. She is there, patient, present. Strongbow closes his eyes. Somewhere, he's conscious of the circle made, and leans slightly into it; his neck is tense, though, as memory comes clearer than yesterday, though tinted by flame's reflection. Taunting, or is it? No prey bares its throat to the blade; even a stag, wounded and resigned to dying, breathes his last breath with more anger than this. The welcome almost seems amused, like a cub who doesn't yet fully know the difference between a game and a real hunt, where blood is spilled. Rillwhisper drops her eyes closed as well, and immerses herself in simply Listening, without intruding on the offered memories. Tree-Rill, she thinks, she must be steadfast as the Old Willow, for now... later will come the need for water-Rill. Zalen locksends ** Chieftess? ** You locksend ** Aye, Zalen? ** to Zalen. Zalen locksends ** Oh. Appologies. ** You locksend to Zalen, Rillwhisper partitions off a bit of her attention, and assures, ** Am I needed? ** Zalen locksends ** Oh! No, not at all! ** You locksend ** Alright. Tell the others I am with Strongbow -- Moonshade's left. The archer's... needing my help. ** to Zalen. Zalen locksends ** Me? ** Zalen locksends ** There ... are no others. Just me. ** You locksend ** As you see the rest of the tribe, tell them... I can't spare much to send. I need to listen to what the archer is telling me. He's... troubled over killing Tash. Now that he's remembered, it's as if he just had it happen... ** to Zalen. You sense in a locksend, Zalen sends what limited support he can. ** I will tell the others. ** You locksend ** Thank you. ** to Zalen. The hunter doesn't rightly know how to respond to one who begs for death, grinning through the request. So much harm and hate and...laughter, dry, bitter laughter, echoed into itself with time. The seeking took so long; hunt must end with the contest, prey against predator, that is its way, wolf's way. Now should be the time for lunging, but instead it is the prey who leaps, and who tints his struggle with, bafflingly, unconcern. The bow, as useless as a weapon as it is for comfort, is loosed and forgotten. Rillwhisper, sent to -- from elsewhere, briefly -- diverts her attention, as much as she can risk sparing. But most of her remains with the hunter, or at least near him, watching quietly. Rillwhisper frowns softly. Tash... _wanted_ to die? Baffled, she stretches her sending's senses, and Listens. From there, it's hunt-song in the blood against something hunt-song can't understand. The prey becomes the hunter, then slips back again to bare its throat, offering the kill. The archer shivers in your encircled arms as his own hands close in elsewhere; his teeth clench on his lip as once they did before, locked in concentration, walling himself off in the Way against battering sends. It seems to be slower than breathing, slower than living, this dance of madness and anger, and the pulse and throb of breath and blood is palpable in the hunter's mind, as much as beneath his hands. Rillwhisper risks a sending, careful, but offering steadiness, the reminder that what is being shared is past and not Now. Her arms remain where they are, as slowly, she bends her head to yours. He shivers at the mindtouch, but continues his memory, refusing to lose the trail, once tracked so far. In another breath, Strongbow of another time clenches down on that pulse, the battering sending fading to return to...begging? Taunting? Send him to the Palace, send him...the archer's hands tighten, eyes squeezed shut and tearing, breath coming in long shudders and gasps. His foe, the hunter-prey, is calm, as if he doesn't believe in death...until the last pulse, weak, meets the tension of the archer's own. Sending once laughing, wry and sour, turns to shock in less than a heartbeat's time...almost surprise. With that, the archer is left suddenly alone in his mind, the echoes of the shriek fading like sighs. Dismayed, he grasps at anything he dares believe -- and collapses, finding nothing except that last breath, the sound of, perhaps, a mistake. Strongbow shivers in your arms, mind open and numbed. Rillwhisper sucks in a soft breath, and tightens her arms, just slightly, enough to draw you to her. "High Ones," she thinks, but doesn't say it, fearing perhaps to wound that achingly open memory. Rillwhisper frowns to herself, not yet trying to absorb what she's just received -- she's not quite certain she fully understands it, not yet. But that her soul-brother aches because of it she does not doubt.... Strongbow shivers softly, slowly letting his mind fade back into himself, sendsharing closing. He doesn't, however, retreat into the distance he'd been in before, and after a long breath, picks up his head and opens his eyes, looking at you with an unasked, silent question. Rillwhisper exhales, a barely audible sigh. When you meet her gaze, her eyes are saddened in their green depths, glimmering a little, as if she might cry at what she's just been shown. But she answers the unvoiced query only with, "Moonshade... asked me to take care of you." Her voice is low. "If you want to go to her, I'll understand... but if you stay, I'll do my best to do as she asked." A pause, and then, "I don't think you should be alone." Strongbow looks at you still, big brown eyes liquid, but question gone. He nods, once, with sendless, wordless assent, and closes his eyes, leaning into your arm with the slightest sigh of, perhaps, relief. Rillwhisper smiles a bit, nods a bit, perhaps to you and perhaps to herself. "Rest," she murmurs, lying back; with her freer arm, she chooses a fur and drapes it round you, then gently tugs you down to huddle against her. When you're where she wants, she strokes your hair, as though you might be a cub, and says nothing more. Strongbow shivers slightly in your arms, managing a small send of gratitude before slipping into sleep. [End log.]