Log Date: 6/18, 6/19, 6/20/99 Log Cast: Shenner, Webb Log Intro: Infuriated at her sword teacher Jairen Windchaser for his leaving her alone in the Fountain Square to deal with a horde of angry security guards, Shenner has had a vehement argument with him, letting him know in no uncertain terms how she feels about someone who calls himself her friend abandoning her to the mercies of the local police. But Shen, in the midst of this argument, has also horrified herself with her own unexpectant claim that everyone she loves or trusts either leaves her or betrays her -- a claim that, although she's unconsciously believed it for years now, she's never found herself saying to anyone. Both aghast at herself for saying such a thing and despondent because she does in fact believe it, Shenner has fled the Sandbar and Jairen, and unthinkingly headed west to the beach and the bluffs that surround Plaxton City, intent on hiding by herself for a while. However, her intended destination is somebody else's refuge today as well... ---------- The sheltered, hidden nook up on the bluff had been shown to Shenner by Webb... and shown to Jairen by Shenner. Well aware that her self-appointed teacher, her self-claimed cousin, tribesmate and clanmate, might know to follow her up here, the redheaded musician hasn't mustered the strength to care. Driven only by the desperate need to be alone, with nothing to distract her from a ruthless, determined attempt to shove emotion she thought long-buried into the back of her mind where she is determined it belongs, she's left Blake Street and the main public stretch of Hideaway Beach. Up she's climbed, up onto the bluffs, forcing herself to think of nothing except safely making the ascent, until she reaches her destination. Only when that is accomplished, only when she's huddled down with a pula tree to her back for support, does Shenner permit herself to cry. Webb You see before you a human male who you would guess to be approximately in his mid-twenties. He stands just a touch under six feet tall, with a rather wirey build. His eyes are grey in colour, with just a hint of blue. His hair is of a shade somewhere between blond and brown, and could appear to be either depending upon the light of the room. A few small scars dot his face, though other than that his complexion is perfectly clear, though pale enough to suit some corpses. The cold sterile image of the Imperial Nova has been burned into the skin of his forehead, perhaps with a surgical laser. Webb is presently attired in the blended slate green and black splotch camouflage typical of the CDU Marines; a uniform which he was made to fill. His body is covered fully by a one piece coverall of blaster resistant material, thickened slightly about the thigh, shin, forearm, and in other places that don't need the flexibility. The garnment is slightly baggy, affording easy movement, and comes up to just beneath his chin. His torso is further protected by a rigid, load bearing torso shell, fitted carefully to the dimensions of his frame. This torso shell serves not only to protect him from weapons fire, but also carries the vast bulk of the supplies that he will need in combat. Ammunition, grenades, explosive charges, and other such handy items are kept in easy reach in the chest pockets, while the larger utility pockets about his waist and hips contain bulkier items like a filtration canteen, a medical pack, and other survival gear. Boots, gloves, and a full coverage helmet complete this outfit, with attachment points that can be sealed to render the suit airtight for operating in hostile environments. His helmet is fitted with an enhanced sensor visor sporting three lenses which gaze out at the world unblinkingly. He is armed. In a sheath that is slung over one shoulder he carries a long, machete-like vibroblade. His sidearm is stowed in a tactical holster which is strapped about her right thigh, in easy reach should he need it. His rifle is a CDMC built KXE series bi-polar type blaster, in carbine format for easy use in close quarters. An extended power unit is fitted beneath the receiver, while atop the weapon rests a small electro-optical scope with a laser rangefinder, fitted with a thin cable to relay the information to the heads up display in his helmet. -=-=-=-=-=-=<>=-=-=-=-=-=- => E-11 Blaster Rifle => Vibro-Blade => Kylan-3 Heavy Blaster Pistol => Protective Vest => Field Armor Tucked into the shadows, well shielded from the rest of the world sits about the only other person who would just be up in this part of the bluffs. His helmet and armored torso shell have been removed for reasons of comfort, and sit beneath a collection of pack and gear. He's slowly peeling off the artificial skin patch that he often uses to cover his tattoo, and has the appearance of one only just being roused from gazing off into eternity. Faint darkness beneath his eyes indicates less than 'normal' levels of sleep, and a distant expression indicates much on his mind. A hint of mild surprise is added to the mixture, like a blotch of paint suddenly cast across an already colour-laden canvas. Under any other circumstances, Shenner would have immediately noticed that this hideaway nook up on the bluff, sheltered from wind and sea and sun, is already occupied. These, however, are not normal circumstances. As she sags against that tree trunk, halfway into curling up into a tiny ball, she at last catches sight of the Ranger stripping out of his uniform. Shen freezes, hot and teary gaze fixing on Jonathan Webb with the sort of look you'd normally expect someone to show only after they've been shot. Then, with that strange look still achingly clear in her expression, she laboriously hauls herself to her feet again. "Sorry," she croaks out. "Didn't know you were up here. 'Scuse me..." Dazed, stricken, she turns to stumble back the way she'd come. Webb says, "Uh. Webb has removed his helmet, vest, and any ordnance/packs. That's not exactly stripping out of his uniform, silly. ;)" Shenner giggles. Sorry, a trifle distracted by the rumble in my other window. Let's say, uh, I dunno, stripping off the gear he'd been carrying, then. :) Webb pushes aside his rifle from where it had been resting accross his lap, habitually pausing to check the fire selector to insure that it is set to safe. Your reaction to his presence brings perhaps a second or two of faintly stunned silence, before he dares to speak, "No!" he pauses abruptly, trying to banish the urgency and tension that slipped into his voice, "Uh... you can stay." Flight instincts still in high gear, Shenner staggers backward a step. If it had been anyone else but Webb here in this place, she'd have whirled around and left without another word. Since it _is_ Webb, she struggles to get back enough composure to rasp out hoarsely, "I'm... I ain't good for company right now, pal, I... don't wanna rain on your parade or nothin', I'm... I'm just..." _I'm just babbling,_ she thinks wildly, but to her extreme embarrassment, she can't seem to make herself stop. Heat floods cheeks already reddened from the exertion of the climb, and the young musician shoots a panicky glance around the little nook, as if considering bolting and not particular about the route of her escape. Webb looks away for a moment as he rises to his feet, taking in his surroundings, and confirming that at the moment you are the only other person among them. With a steady, cautious pace he advances towards you, holding out his open hands for a moment in a gesture that seems to be an attempt to demonstrate that he's relatively harmless. Concern edges into his voice, "Stay... Please?" She'd needed to be alone. Shen _wants_ to be alone. Somebody up here on the bluff -- even if that somebody -is- Webb -- means the tears she's unsuccessfully fighting can be witnessed. The shame of that thought only makes Shenner's eyes brim over all the more, and she blurts out in a tone that might be called frantic if it had any volume or strength to it, "N-not... not a good idea. Really karkin' lousy company right now. I can't... I can't..." She doesn't, however, flee; if anything, she's starting to resemble a frightened wild creature caught in a trap. Webb asks what might be considered by many to be a silly or rhetorical question, "What's the worst that could happen? Hmm?" Except when Webb says it, he's serious, and curious as to what kind of threat he could pose to you right now, "You think you need to pretend you're indestructible as long as I'm around?" He takes a few more steps forwards, each one hesitant. And yes, doubtlessly your tears are being witnessed, for his gaze is focussed straight into your eyes. In the argument she'd just left, Shenner, in the grip of a stark, uncompromising honesty, had blurted out words she'd never uttered to another sentient being. Now, in the grip of not only that honesty but her own terror at what she'd inadvertantly discovered about herself, the redheaded musician gazes mournfully up at the soldier as he makes his way closer. "Y-you're gonna see me cry," she says in a tiny, ashamed little voice. "And?" comes Webb's response, in a tone that's almost a whisper, "What do you think I'm going to do?" He's close enough to touch you, quite easily, and in fact does, reaching up to touch your cheek, brushing a hint of a tear from the corner of your eye with a certain feather-lightness that he might use for attempting to remove an armed land mine. "How am I going to hurt you, hmm?" "_Don't!_" Shenner wails desperately, whirling away from that unthreatening touch, every muscle in her slim form -- and she's developed a few more of them as of late, training with Jairen -- primed for fleeing. "Not you too. Can't stand it. D-don't do that...!" Webb's hand retreats abruptly, as if Webb had allowed it to stray too close to an open flame. Slowly he lowers his hand again, letting it take its place at his side, "Right. I won't touch you then. But what's running away going to do? Hmm?" His gaze deviates slightly, so that he's now looking just over the top of your head, gazing off into the distance at the horizon. Shenner sways and catches herself against that pula tree that had supported her before. Her back to the Marine, her shoulders shaking, she chokes out, "It'll... get me away. To get a hold o' myself... " Webb answers dryly, "Uh huh..." as he gives a faint nod, "And? What difference do you think it'll really make? You think that if you don't do it in front of me, I won't know that your hurt? You think you'll look tougher if you run away?" He sighs faintly, though not in a manner which implies aggravation. Shenner can't summon the strength to carry out another argument. Not now. Not so soon. Nor can she find the energy to make the descent to Hideaway Beach, not with the way her entire body is shaking and the way her vision remains drenched by tears. Flight is not an option; neither is fighting. So she simply sinks down to the sandy, gravelly earth, wrapping her arms around one leg, bowing her head till it touches her knee. The ornate silver clasp that she picked up at the end of the Battle of Plaxton City glints at the end of her braid. "Yeah," she agrees hollowly, dully. "That's me. Tough gal Shenner. Right..." Her voice dies away, from whisper into a muted sound that can only be a strangled little gasp as her tears start pouring down to wet her pants. Webb moves around behind you and whispers over your shoulder into your ear, "You think this makes you weak?" He shakes his head slowly and moves around to your other side, "You really think you're that much alone?" He gazes at you from just at the edge of your peripheral vision, leaning in slightly so that he can see into the corner of your eye, in spite of the fact that you almost seem to be attempting to hide your face. Shenner's eyes are closed now, though, tears leaking out from their taut corners, each one feeling hot and scalding to her as it escapes to trickle down her face. "Yeah," she replies in brutal simplicity, the only reply she can manage. "Yeah?" he murmurs to you softly, and reaches out to place one of his arms about your shoulders, then reaches out with the other and brushes his fingers into your hair, "I think it just means that you're not as dead inside as some of us are," he whispers, not caring to specify just who 'some of us' might be. Not long after he says this, it becomes apparent that he's actually trembling - it's faint, but it's there, in spite of his apparent distant calm. The contact to Shenner's hair and shoulders makes her go rigid. But instead of jerking out of the way, instead of trying to shoot to her feet, the young musician curls into a tighter little ball, able now to think only of hiding as a way to evade the Marine's attempted touch. "Don't," she pleads, but weakly, and only because she manages to catch enough breath between barely audible sobs to utter that one little syllable. Webb asks softly, "Why?" not in protest, for there is clearly no such edge in his tone. In fact, his tone of voice is almost theraputic, though he's trying not to be excessive... "Are you... scared of me?" That question sounds almost timid. His arm remains wrapped about your shoulder, though the movement of his finger through your hair has halted, even though he hasn't taken his hand away. The last time she'd cried in front of anyone, Shenner had become hysterical, losing so much control over herself that she'd felt almost ill afterwards. That had been before the war that had swept over the planet, and this young woman has had to do much to survive, growing and changing in ways she hasn't even realized since she'd fallen apart in the embrace of Gavin Hollister. Acutely ashamed by that memory, she battles with herself now, tears squeezing only sluggishly at best out from behind her tightly closed eyelids. At that uneasily voiced question, she starts to vehemently shake her head... and then she nods... and then her head shakes again. It's not much of a reply, though, and as if realizing this, Shen then groans out, her words having almost as much difficulty escaping her as her tears, "Don't... know. I don't know..." Webb sighs soflty and shakes his head a little as he gazes out upon the rolling waves. In ways it seems almost as if he's trying to shield you, rather then embrace you. Each gesture seems to carry with it a certain amount of deliberate caution, and he shows no sign of being about to do anything other than what he's already doing, for your apprehensions would suggest that you've had bad experiences with the support of friends in the past. Silence follows your last statement, until he finally murmurs in response, "Good... in a way. Getting too close is usually... unfortunate." His distant, sombre tone implies that he doesn't mean unfortunate in a sense of heartbreak, such as you've alluded (while under certain influences) to suffering at the hands of roguish Corellians. Agreement? Stunned, Shenner goes still for a moment. A muffled sniffle sounds from beneath her bowed head. Then she croaks, "Yeah. 'Cause e... every time I care 'bout somebody... goes wrong... don't wanna screw you up too. Couldn't stand it. Just couldn't stand it..." As she blurts out those last few words, a tremor courses along her slender frame. Webb experiences what is almost a reflex to draw you closer at that tremble, but quickly supresses it, not allowing it to be completed, even though it crosses his mind that such a thing could be nice. He nods slowly, still gazing off at the ocean, "Yeah, I don't want anything to happen to you either..." he murmurs in a tone which hints a little past sombre, straying into the mournful end of the spectrum. Something in those plaintively murmured words makes Shenner turn her head and uncurl her body, just enough to peer up over her shoulder. Wet green eyes come into view behind strands of russet hair that have escaped her braid in her hike up the bluff. "I'll be okay," she rasps, unsure whether it's in claiming she's fighting off whatever's driven her up here in tears... whether Webb need not worry about her welfare... or both. With the faintest of movements, Webb nods as he murmurs, "Yeah, I know," although his eyes narrow into a squint which seems to betray pain of some sort. His fingers start to brush through your hair again, pushing back the stray locks away from your face. He reasserts, "I know," as he peeks down at your eyes for a moment. Slowly, stiffly, the musician begins to sit up, half-turning towards the young man behind her. And then she pauses, his arm around her shoulders, his hand in her hair, the thought crossing her mind that both of these things feel very good... and that letting herself linger to yield to their proferred comfort is extremely unwise. "Oughtta go," comes her hoarse observation, though she makes no move to do so. Those pained blue-gray eyes are met by her dampened, bleak green ones, and she adds roughly, "_You_ okay?" A lengthy pause seems to indicate some form of inability to answer that question, before he slowly shakes his head, and allows a faint smirk to slip into his expression for a moment, though now a cheerful one, as he mutters, "I really don't know." Likewise, he will acknowledge in his thoughts that something about the present situation does feel rather pleasant. New unease trickles in through the bleak, cold despair that had been blanketing Shenner's thoughts. As upset as she'd been bolting out of the Sandbar and scrambling half-blindly up the bluff trail, seeing this friend of hers visibly uncomfortable is enough to begin to distract her. Her eyes are still quite wet, puffy and reddened, her face showing all the painful results of her interior battle; there are several things Shenneret Veery does gracefully, but crying is not one of them. Nor is there much grace in the motion of her hand as she lifts it up to find and grip the one that had gone round her shoulders. "Be okay," she pleads, rough and awkward. Two quick, faint nods of his head demonstrate that he is at least trying to 'be okay'. But, his apparent present state of distress would suffice to explain why he was already hiding up here when you arrived. It would also explain the strain which adds to Webb's apparent age when you gaze upon his face. Slowly, he leans forward, until his forehead touches against your hand, which rests atop his, which rests upon your shoulder. _Ohhh shiisa._ Both bizarrely relieved and deeply disturbed that there is in fact someone else in distress here in this hidden nook on the cliffside, Shenner blows out a shaky breath. Half of her still shouts for her to run, but the rest, rather quieter, drawing on a strength of resolve that had seen its birthing in the war that changed so many lives all over the system, advises that she cannot leave her friend in pain. Her other arm comes up, settling around the Ranger's broader shoulders. She says nothing, though. She can't think of anything to say -- and besides, the still-frantic half of her mind insists, if she speaks, she'll jinx it. Webb seems content to let his head lay there for a rather lengthy span of time. There is something oddly serene about him, in spite of the fact that he's hinted at his torment. In fact, if anything, the embrace seems to be relaxing him further, thougb the look in his eyes when he finally does look up would seem to give the impression that he's probably only really this serene because he's rather heavily engrossed in thoughts which aren't quite related to sitting here holding you. Still, Shen does not speak; nor does she let herself think too heavily about the fact that having someone here to hold, and who is willing to hold _her_, is beginning to dissolve those tight, hard knot of tension in her chest and her throat. It's not a particularly pleasant sensation, as hot little tremors seem to her to sweep out from within those parts of her, making her hands shake. And that arm around Webb's shoulders, too. Finally, though, she does make herself speak: "Oughtta go." Her voice is still low and choked-sounding, her tear-streaked face strained and indecisive. Webb sighs softly and sits up a little straighter, so that he's now looking across the rather short distance between your face and his. "Hmm..." he remarks after a while, and reaches up to delicately dab at any tears which still cling to your face. Quietly he comments, "These are... strange times, aren't they?" with reference to what has to be more than just this present situation, "What happened to you anyways?" Strange isn't the half of it. Shenner doesn't say that, though she thinks it, fleetingly. She gives an unsteady bob of her tousled head, eyes fluttering shut at the gentle touches to her face. "Had a fight with Jairen," she mumbles. Webb ahs softly and nods slowly in understanding as he wipes away another wayward tear and inquires, "That would have something to do with the other night?" obviously speaking of the last time he ran into you, when you were being questioned by the security officers. The singer swallows hard, her throat rippling with the effort of it. "Yeah," she croaks without elaboration. Her arm remains loosely about her companion; although she's not letting herself think about it, she's unwilling to release him just yet. "Howsabout you?" "Oh..." Webb murmurs as he brushes a stray russet lock away from your face, "Been trying to fix that little problem... what with our military being effectively incapacitated by internal strife. Trying to keep in touch with which faction is trying to get what out of the present situation." He sighs faintly and shakes his head, "It's... very different." Internal strife in the Caspar military. Even if Shen hadn't already heard rumors of such things from the Marines that frequent the Sandbar, not to mention from Loren, still working on finishing out the rest of his volunteer time with the groundpounders at Trinumvira, the simple fact that Admiral Taylor has been assassinated would have been enough to clue her in that all is far from right among Caspar's defenders. _Get a grip, street rat,_ she orders herself harshly. Her own personal problems rather pale in comparison to the fact that a man has died because of the squabbling factions in the CDU armed forces. With an effort reflected in the way her face begins to close off, go still and stoic, she rasps out, "Still don't envy you your job. Came up here to get a breather?" Webb nods ever so faintly, seemingly still engrossed in intercepting any tears and brushing your hair back from your face. Generally, he limits the extent of any touches to just that, but at one point it almost seems that he bestows a gratuitous caress along your cheek, "Yeah, well we're kinda without leadership. Near as I can tell there's only about... 15 percent of our officers beyond the rank of Commander who are still trustworthy. The rest are pushing one faction or another, or have just dropped off of the scene altogether. Not exactly a good recipe for morale." Shenner's breathing slows and eases at that tender attention to her face; at that one possibly suspicious touch, though, her breath halts altogether. Those light contacts provoke a few fresh tears out from beneath her still-closed eyes, and she is a little hard-pressed to keep her attention upon the Marine's voice and words. "Loren was sayin' his unit's just tryin' to keep all their heads down," she whispers. Webb nods his head faintly and murmurs, "Yeah, that seems to be a pretty common reaction to the present situation. We kinda saw the imps doing the same thing once we took away their command, control and communications capabilities." At the detection of the pause in your breathing, the touches halt momentarily, before he steadily starts the process over, chasing the fresh tears, though much more cautiously. "Karkin' pack of idiots," Shenner mutters, her voice gaining a little strength and volume. "If any of the Imps had half a clue, they'd take one look at all this, bring in another fleet, and take the damned planet all over again. If our forces are all over each other like rabid kretch, they could do it, too. Ain't any of them realizing the danger there?" She shakes her head, brows winging down over her eyes, as the thought of the forces responsible for defending her adopted homeworld turning on one another makes her sick at heart all over again. Her eyes come open, dark and bleak and resigned, and she asks huskily, "You think they'll get their act together... or are we screwed?" Webb smirks faintly, indicating the various derisive thoughts that go swirling through his head, "Imps seem to be having a bit of internal difficulties... difficult to say what, but most of their forces have been... busy. Besides, Laarken, Taylor, Huntington... Batraad. They're all convinced that we won decisively... I'm not so sure. Another possibility is that we've entered into some kind of... deal, which would explain why peace broke out all of the sudden." He shrugs his shoulders and says, "I think there's plenty of people who see the danger to this situation, but they're not the one's sitting at the top of the pyramid. I'm beginning to think that in order for us to pull out of this mess, we're either going to have to wait for one side to win and secure its power, or the lower ranks are going to have to remove the high command." That's not a thought to be taken lightly. Hearing the name 'Laarken' makes Shenner go very still. Then, slowly, her arm slips off the Marine's shoulders and her gaze turns distant in her pale and haggard face. For several seconds, she is quiet; at last, though, she says only, "This sounds like you're gettin' into another one of those areas you probably shouldn't be talkin' to a civvie about, pal." Webb shakes his head faintly and says, "No. Actually, I probably shouldn't even be thinking it. That's kinda what brought me up here." Sensing that he's made you uncomfortable with his inclusion of Avy as a part of the problem in this situation, he slowly draws back the arm that he was holding you with. "You including Miz Laarken among those the... 'lower ranks' might have to punt out?" the young singer then asks, her gaze turning away. Webb shrugs his shoulders faintly and says, "No. Well, I really don't know. I need much more information, really. Thus far the only strike that she has against her is a refusal to exercise any leadership in the situation. Might not have to remove her, but we might have to act in spite of her." He sighs faintly and shakes his head, "I might not like everything she does, and the lot of us might get screwed over something fierce for leaving her there, but it's better than going the route of dictatorship like Taylor was headed towards." Shenner rises, then, her face so still and grim now it might be etched in stone. "If there are moves against her," she says, her voice going toneless and flat and hollow, "I'll do everything in my power to keep her safe, and then I am outta here faster than you can say greased womprat, because if this karking planet has no appreciation for the way that woman's busted her backside for it, I don't wanna live here anymore. Figures -- I get attached to a place, that gets screwed over just like when I get attached to people, too. Try not to do anything too stupid, like getting yourself killed, 'kay?" And with that, the redheaded musician turns to go. Webb shakes his head slowly and tilts his head back to look up at you as you start to turn away, "Yeah, she's done a lot... in the past. That's why I'd rather not see her removed. But I have a lot more things to consider than the continuation of her political career, because right now, our situation is /very/ bleak. She might be good, but she's not on top of this situation, and frankly, this isn't the first time." Not at all wanting to have this conversation, _especially_ right now, Shenner pauses long enough to pin Webb with a stare that exactly conveys how alone she'd earlier claimed she felt. "Then if you're ever plannin' on helpin' work against her, I'll say goodbye right now. That woman's the main reason I'm not still goin' crazy on Calamari or pickin' pockets on Tatooine, and anybody who wants to step all over her rather than helping her _be_ 'on top' of this situation can, as far as I'm concerned, go fling themselves out an airlock." She turns again, and starts stalking away, heading back out to the path that leads down off the bluff. Webb sighs faintly as he watches you turn to head back down the path. Slowly, he picks himself up from where he sits and moves as if to dust off his fatigues, before he realises that he's kind of dusty all over, and forgoes any superficial attempts to remove the dust. As he turns to pick up his rifle and to don the rest of his gear, he remarks to no audience in particular, "Times like this, I bloody well hate this job." And Shenner, who'd run up onto the bluff in the hopes of crying in private, who'd almost let herself find comfort in the presence of a friend, starts down the bluff with her spirits no lighter than they'd been at her ascent. Halfway down, her throat tightens up again. By the time she reaches the beach, her chest has done the same. But only when she makes it back to her apartment and out of the sight of the planet at large does she let herself once more cry. [End log.]