Log Cast: Rayek, Eveshka, Ktai Log Date: 7/2/1998 Entry Hall(#8823RAF) High-ceilinged, airy, this chamber widens out from the doorway that serves as its entrance from outside to an expansive room, filled with little more than strangely ornate walls and the occasional column, rising up to the ceiling far overhead. Closer inspection of the walls reveals patterns shaped into their surfaces, sometimes of wings, or flowers, or the lithe forms of elves -- and sometimes of images that defy description. The air is full of a subliminal shimmer that plays at the edge of elfin senses, a tingle that feels welcoming even in its eldritch oddness. Among the fanciful shapings in this wide chamber can be viewed a 'black spiral' of rock resting on a low column. A long winding stairway twines its way up out of this chamber and into the upper heights of this place; you might be able to find other ways out of here, but the only other exit in immediate sight is the archway and doors that lead outside. Contents: Eveshka Obvious exits: Corridor Winding Stairway Doorway Like a steady, gold-tinged shadow, Rayek glides the length of the stairway down, the gold of his eyes dark with brooding. Not a sound is heard save the faint rustle of his cloak as it passes through the air with the rest of him. His arms rest at his sides, his fingers curled into fists. There is no anger in his face, not anymore.. simply blackened thought. In the corner of the room, shadowed by those very same stairs, the small pale figure of Eveshka hangs in mid-air. Since the strange dissappearance of her lifemate, she has become less inclined to talk, less alive in most every sense of the word. It's almost as if she were trying to forget herself and become a part of the Palace. Rayek closes the journey down the stairways and cuts short his glide through mid-air as that final step casts away that yellow glitter and brings his leather-booted feet to touch the ground. He moves forward one step.. two steps.. then stops as that slightly paler shadow catches his notice. The once-Master of the Palace, without turning, takes notice and.. ** Eveshka? ** She turns, a half gliding, half-physical motion and pale violet eyes focus to the golden elf. A send as whispered as a forgotten kiss in the morning drifts through the other's mind. ** Yes? ** ** The moons are high.. the stars cast across the sky.. ** A few wispy strands of ebony fall over Rayek's eyes unhindered as he regards the smaller, violet-eyed elf. His eyebrows draw together. ** You should be asleep. ** ** Sleep... ** The send is more like an echo. After a moment, there is a hint of a wry smile that crosses her lips, and a send coalesces into thought. ** Sleep... brings memory. I would sooner forget. ** Curiosity as well as a want to divert his thoughts from that which plagues them, turning them black with brooding. With a gesture with a sun-darkened hand, Rayek queries, ** Explain? ** She looks to the wall, eying the shapings thereon quietly for a time before responding. ** Regrets... are a heavy burden, Rayek. I would sooner not have them. But, for that, I should not remember, but forget. ** Rayek watches her, gold-softened-to-amber eyes regarding her even when she know longers faces him, a hand lifting idly to rest at his waist. ** You think of Talyrath, ** he sends bluntly after a moment's pause. ** Him, yes. And of others... ** ** Others? ** Stepping backwards, Rayek approaches the stairway, but chooses instead to sit upon the second-to-last step rather than ascend its height again. With interest he watches Eveshka, eyebrows arched. ** My uncle's spirit moves within these halls at times. When he touches me... I remember... ** She shudders, a movement that threatens to shake her out of the air. Concern, though diluted, draws Rayek's brows from their arch, their ends coming together and furrowing. ** He touches you with malice? ** he sends slowly, remembering the tales.. Death often calms the spirit once it has flown free of its shell. She recovers, shaking her head once. ** No... not really... but his touch reminds me... and that memory brings unwanted emotion and action. ** Odd, but even in her discussion, she seems to be farther and farther away. ** Speak with him on it, ** is Rayek's careful, mildly-toned advice. ** Sometimes pain brought to its surface is more easily extinguished. ** Of course, he guesses, not knowing what could be the memories and emotions that hurt her so. And, of course, he does not think to ask or if he does, he dismisses such queries privately. The send is fainter than a whisper. ** I am why he is dead. ** Startled silence. Rayek's eyes blink rapidly before he summons wit enough to reply. ** Ask forgiveness. ** ** What good would that do when it was he who asked me to kill him? ** Rayek's eyes pale; their color is yellow like the sun, but lacking in its fiery brightness. ** Then you must forgive him, ** he finally offers, albeit slowly. He is uncertain, but that note is kept hidden in his sending. ** That was given as he died. ** She pauses for a moment, realizing that Rayek cannot know the history of what Mathyn did to her. ** It is the memory of his actions... ** She fades out some more, becoming almost a half-heard and only partially seen figure. And Rayek says nothing, simply watching her expectantly. He does not know, cannot know, and would not ask outright. It comes as a whisper, a shadowed memory of tens upon tens of years in a dark room with nothing to serve as food save the scurriers that she managed to catch. No light... no blanket... only the tattered fragments of clothing... His eyes widen imperceptibly, pupils widening until they seem like rich black spheres with thin rings of gold tied tightly about them. "Great Sun.." comes the unbidden swear and Rayek, perhaps, sits slightly straight in his spot at the foot of the stairs. "Why..?" She starts, as if she had not been aware that she had sent that. ** Ktai was ... removed from me... and I was given to Mathyn to care for. He... didn't want me. ** Rayek's voice is rough with disdain. "You could not have been placed in the care of one more.. appreciable.. of the task?" Eveshka's send is almost silent. ** They are Gliders. What do they know of appreciation or love? Mathyn was loyal and related to Ktai. That was enough. ** "Nothing is without love." So roughly spoken is that otherwise profound statement that it might seem that Rayek could doubt his own words. There is one who is infamous for her seeming lack of such precious an emotion, yet.. "And.. in atonement.. he asked that you kill him..?" Eveshka sends openly ** No... I killed him because he could not live. ** There must be more to it than that, for it sounds so totally aside from who and what she is... Indeed. Rayek's brows furrow in what might pass for confusion. ** You sent that he asked to you to kill him, ** he sends flatly. A memory comes, swirling with emotion... a darkend and hot chamber below the Mountain's living levels... a world of lava tunnels. It is there that she once lived... and there that she came to his cry. To the memory, the figure is clear, captured forever like a stick in the lava - for he was mostly covered by the burning lava, caught in pain and torment with long death before him. And so hse had found him lying. Her mind touching his, she found pain beyond sense... and only her odd hypnotic ability gave the clearness needed for him to ask the simple and clear question: for her to end it all for him. And so she did, but not without cost to herself. It takes long moments for the fiery, silently violent memory to unfold, embed, and settle in the Airwalker's mind before he can stomach it. It takes still more moments for him to summon a reply, and then he sorts it carefully, struggling to be tactful and polite. "You ended shortly a span of otherwise long suffering. He holds to you no malice. You both are forgiven, yet.." For a moment he falters. "It is best, sometimes," he struggles out. "To not brood on such things. To let them resurface." ** I have killed, Rayek. Not one, but two. For any part of me that could temper that absence of Self which allows me to kill has died. ** "You feel that.. with their deaths.. their loss of life prompted you towards loss of Self?" Rayek says slowly, more to himself in silent query towards Eveshka of confirmation. Affirm or deny, though, his thoughts on it will always remain his own.. A thought strikes. Impulsively, the Airwalker blurts: "Would you have killed Tsoran?" It's a sudden and swift happening, the sudden touch of her mind, a crystaline send that shows almost everything that she was and almost everything that she is: her near-paralytic fear of humans due to a violent encounter... her fear of others conqured by Alorn and Azeure... many hundreds of other impressions ... but one that scarred her deeply: her own inability to protect that which she loved. Rayek starts to rise to his feet and nearly falters backwards into the stairway, a swiftly moved hand catching him before he collides, a shower of golden sparkle ensuring that he does not slip. "Turds!" he swears with more vehemence than before, attempting once more to rise to his feet; it is considerably more steady this time around, yet his legs do wobble beneath his weight. And just as suddenly, the crystal cracks, a strange seperate sense escaping -- one that feels nothing, shares nothing. It... and she... simply is. She stands silent in the air for a moment longer, then a send clear of the conflicting emotions emerges. ** If he had tried to harm any of you, I would have tried. ** ** You would not have been blamed, had that been the case, ** Rayek sends gently, an uncharacteristic softness to his send that is more soothing than it is affectionate or kind. He abruptly straightens, though, as he takes a step, then two, towards the small Glider, arms and hands arranged over his chest. His brows, not for the first time, draw together as he states plainly, "There is conflict in you, Eveshka." She turns, her eyes almost totally drained of violet hue, a faintly glidery glimmer caught within them. But she doesn't say anything, doesn't offer anything, simply looks to the golden-skinned black-haired elf. It is unsettling that silent gaze of hers and, while Rayek allows no note of it to reach his face, it does cause him to shift his weight from one foot to the other, then simply become weightless entirely as he rises up into the air a few inches. "You have killed, but without good reason." He guesses, for he is uncertain of the second, unclarified killing. "And you allow it to hinder you.. needlessly." The send is detatched, seperate from her, and yet of her. ** Killing destroys. ** "What is destroyed can be repaired." The send grasps at that, trying to make it become tangible, trying to bring forth clarity, and after a moment, a soft wash of violet shimmers within the pale and shadowed eyes. A mind-voice far closer to Eveshka's whispers in the hallway: ** How? ** And it is here, at the most delicate of moments, that the Airwalker's uncharacteristic helpfulness comes to an end as his shoulders rise and fall in the lightest of shrugs. "I do not know," he answers simply, his golden eyes unblinking and seemingly unaware of the second meaning to his words. "I have never been in such a.. ... intense situation." She seems to close further now, drifting away from hope again. ** Oh. ** And that is all she can offer. Rayek's eyes, flickering with perhaps a life of their own, turning faintly orange like the Daystar's fingers at sunrise. "Perhaps.." he adds, fractionally gentler. "..it is something you need to find for yourself." Her voice is a whisper. "I have looked... walked the broken pathways... and all I see I cannot repair. I cannot fix... only destroy." Brisk disdain colors Rayek's words an ugly black. "With that sort of outlook on it, I can't say I'm surprised." Her shoulders fall, and she drifts back to the floor, landing with the soft sound of leather slippers against stone. Her send is clear, only marginally tinged with sadness. ** In the morning... I will find Tsoran and lead him from this place. I would rather... my mother not know... ** It takes a moment for that information to sink in and Rayek's eyes rounden ever so slightly. ** You would go with him to Blue Mountain? ** There is a soft half-step and she looks to the doors. ** It is the only way I can protect... ** "Your mother would find out eventually. You /cannot/ go there without her eventual knowledge.. and Ktai would follow you." Rayek's voice hardens, tightens; it is one often used when thought slips and gives way to the arrogance he has become infamous for - that of thinking he is right and the other is wrong. "Tsoran would return back again as well anyway. The Palace is protected." His lips purse, then thin. "You needn't.. sacrifice.. yourself so, Eveshka." ** Then what do you propose I am to do? There is nothing for me here. ** ** There is nothing for you /there/ either, ** comes Rayek's sharp reply. ** What do you want to do, Rayek? Walk within my mind and see for yourself? See that which is hidden and will not stay forgotten? See the walls that have been ripped away by Winnowill's bored mind? Then would you believe? ** Rayek falters, but only momentarily. ** Believe what, Eveshka? That with your mate barely gone a moon-dance you're ready to give up and run away to That Place.. under the false shadow that you do so for the Palace? If you so desire to protect it than stay here. ** His gaze narrows visibly. "Tsoran is but one of many threats, and a recurring one." ** Then I will stay, if that is your desire. ** But while her send says one thing, her shoulders shake, and her entire appearance says a completely different thing. A change seems to overtake her moments after, a send-whisper escaping. ** I broke... again... ** Brief discomfort flits across Rayek's face at the chosen wording of Eveshka's send; it fades, though, with the latter as his brows pull together and arch, disappearing beneath the errant strands of black. "Eh?" She crumples to her knees, staring at her hands. ** When... when I was little... Mathyn... gave me a gift, he called it... he showed me how to... think as if I weren't there... but I tried to use it when Winnowill tore my mind apart... and I broke. I can't control it any more... not like I used to... when I had to be with Sar... or when... when the humans attacked... ** The send fades to a shocked whisper. The discomfort reappears, its stay not quite so brief. Rayek moves forward slowly, as if shy, yet cannot approach Eveshka fully or stand by as a comforting presence as others could. Instead, he tries to pick apart the problem, tries to see the answers that might lie there within grasp. "It is not.. Self.. that you fear lacking then, but.. lack of control of that.. Self?" The send shakes as hard as her shoulders do now. ** What if I lose control... and kill without provocation...? ** Amber eyes watch Eveshka's shuddering form, his sending much milder than the worried tenseness of his features. "I do not think that would happen." ** But how can I know? What if Tyree pulls my hair... and it annoys me and... ** It's a horrifying thought, and while she cannot send it, she can think it, and she knows that seperate aspect could... and would. The sending is sharp, barbed; that struck a nerve and pierced deeply, whether or not the Airwalker would admit it. ** That would /not/ happen, Eveshka. ** She's not truly crying, but there is the sensation of being deathly afraid of herself. ** I can't say that... ** "I can. Ask any that know you and they would testify the same." Reaching a hand to comb back those unruly strands of black, Rayek bites back a ragged exhale of breath. ** If you fear for lack of control, then that is a simple thing to repair. It will.. take time, but it is not as unrepairable as you so believe. ** ** Then how? ** "As I said, that it something you must find on your own." Rayek's eyes harden briefly. "Not everything will be handed to you; somethings are meant for discovery only by one." Eveshka sends openly ** I wish Mathyn would take it back... ** Rayek's head tilts. "Explain." Eveshka sends openly ** His gift. That... ability... ** ** Perhaps he can. ** Rayek's eyebrows slowly arch as he watches Eveshka. Is she still crumpled to the floor? "... Have you asked him?" She hasn't moved, nor does she seem inclined to try. Indeed, she looks rather like a rumpled and discarded cloth might on the floor. ** No... I am afraid to... to feel his full mind's touch... ** He moves forward a step.. another.. Somehow his feet bring him to her side half-a-stride from touching. "Sometimes.." He struggles and the struggle itself is something you can almost sense-feel-touch. It is something he has been called upon occasion to do and has never cared much for it. "Sometimes.. that which seems to be what you want to do least.. is what must be done." She closes her eyes, a thinly terrified send escaping her for a moment before she becomes all but mentally invisible. After a long and intensely silent moment, a 'feeling' coalesces within the Entry Hall... a send both alien and yet familiar that seems to go unheard by Eveshka. ** She will be like a child in many regards, Rayek. I wonder... will you make her a good father? Valdir seems to think so. ** ** It would be worth... ** Rayek's sending trails off, then abruptly cuts to a stop. Like a child in the dark, his golden eyes flick to shoot over the ceiling, as if searching for whatever creatures might be lurking in the shadows that aren't there. ** .... ** There is a pleased sort of mental chuckle, then the same voice offers another comment. ** I was unprepared for her, and wrong in my ways, not knowing how to ... handle ... a child. And when I learned, it was too late. To a point she has forgiven, and that is all I expected. You have a chance I never will. You might wish to use that chance... ** And then suddenly, the pale figure half-shrieks, half-gasps, back stiffening before she crumples fully to the ground. Rayek's eyes dart like candle-flame casting shadows over a wall along the ceiling, growing slightly rounder at the second send, then narrowing to yellow slits before jerking sharply in the direction of the Glider as she crumples. "Eveshka!" His shout rings sharply on the Entry Hall's walls and the distance between the two is closed as he crouches, hands moving towards her. "What..?" Softly shaded violet eyes open slowly as the cryptic send-voice returns. ** I give her to you, Rayek. Keep her well... ** Then the mental voice fades, and Eveshka blinks slowly. Her send is clear, a soft bell-like whisper. ** Rayek...? ** Rayek's expression twists slowly, his eyebrows knotting together as he grips her shoulders to keep her steady, his golden eyes searching her face for hint of that disembodied voice. His eyes then darken, pooling amber with slight orange tinges, blinking rapidly before sending, somewhat raggedly, ** Are you well? ** Eveshka wavers only slightly with his aid, lifting a hand to push the hair out of her eyes. ** I... felt his mind... but it didn't feel the same... not the same as I remembered... there was this feeling of... sorrow... and apology... and then blistering pain... but my thoughts... are clear... ** She sends slowly, as if testing each thought as it goes. Rayek's smile falters, but it is there. ** Perhaps he took it back, the gift, ** he sends as gently as possible, though it is apparent in his eyes that he is ruffled. The sending, unfamiliar and disembodied, was.. disturbing. Eveshka smiles faintly. ** Maybe he did... I can but hope... ** A moment passes, then her soft send is heard again. ** Thank you... ** "Of course." Rayek rises to his feet, Eveshka's shoulders still in hand, but loosely so that if she does not wish to rise he will release her; if not, he will support her. He pauses, either way, and sends, ** Will you be able to rest this night then? ** Eveshka rises with him and nods. ** I think I will... finally... ** Her eyes have lost thier hard edge, and there is a softly warm glimmer in them, nothing at all reflective of that crystaline shimmer that once flashed within the violet. Rayek nods once in approval and he releases his hands from her shoulders, dropping them to his sides as he retreats backwards a single half-step. "And Blue Mountain?" the Airwalker cannot help but press the tender point. She shakes her head. ** My family is here... all that is left to me lives within these walls. I could not leave to return to nothingness. ** Rayek turns his head slightly to regard the stairway, hiding the smile that relaxes his face. ** Good then. I would hate to.. see your mother so troubled were you to fly off with /that/ one. ** A soft ripple of disgust; perhaps he too would hate to see the same, for you or anyone. If she catches that he almost sent something else, she only arches a pale brow to look at him briefly. A smile tugs at her lips and she nods. The Airwalker watches the stairway as if he expects it to sprout wings and start dancing. ** Go sleep, Eveshka. It is late. ** Eveshka sends openly ** What is it, Rayek? Did... did he say something to upset you? ** ** He said something that needs considering, ** Rayek allows. Ktai has arrived. A slippered step announces Ktai's immenent arrival. Eveshka turns quietly and looks to Ktai for a moment before offering a soft send. ** I think I should turn in... it's been... a long day. ** She doesn't offer more when Ktai gives her an odd look. Eveshka locksends ** Thank you... ** Rayek's gaze rests on the stairway and nothing else, so unless Ktai arrived from there her approach goes momentarily unnoticed. Though the faint smile still lingers, his brow is drawn with thought, slightly lines etched about his eyes. At the small Glider's send, his chin lifts. ** Yes, rest. ** Eveshka has left. You locksend ** ((gruffly, as if distracted, or perhaps puzzled)) Aye. ** to Eveshka. Ktai emerges fully from the side corridor and looks quietly to Rayek with great but sleepy curiosity. ** Rayek? ** Rayek turns towards the direction of the sending, his features relaxing fully into a smile, though it is a weary one of his own. He has fallen back into the ritual of sleeping, but it seems he has gone a night or two without bearing by the lightly black rings that crescent beneath his eyes. ** Ktai.. ** He glances briefly after the little Glider, then back to Ktai. ** Eveshka and I, we were.. just.. ** He struggles for words. He comes up with, lamely, ** ..talking. ** Ktai extends her hands to him, a soft smile crossing her lips. ** Oh? Talking of what? I've been worried about her so... maybe it's a good thing she's finally talking to someone... ** As she sends, she nears him. Rayek reaches and grasps the offered hands, pulling her towards him, though not close. ** Of.. ** He hesitates at a thought. Would it compromise Eveshka's trust to impart the sendings she shared, even if it were with her own mother? And of the strange sendings, unfamiliar, yet.. ** Ktai, who was Mathyn? ** he sends impulsively. Ktai blinks once, wice, then a third time before answering slowly. ** Mathyn... was my brother... ** His chin dips in a nod and all Rayek offers in explanation of /why/ he asked that is a quiet: "Ah.." Ktai tilts her head now, onyx eyes seeking the caze of the golden ones. ** Why? ** ** Eveshka was.. telling me about.. him.. ** Something uncomfortable dwells in those eyes, darkly golden with dark centers. It takes a few moments, such quite musings, and then he adds quietly, ** And he sent to me shortly after. ** Ktai's expression turns slightly annoyed, though it's clearly not with Rayek. ** And what did the miserable little bird-dropping have to say for himself -this- time? ** That uncomfortable something turns almost sadly amused as his smile wavers though his gaze upon her never does. ** 'I give her to you, Rayek. Keep her well.' ** It is an echo, not all of what he sent, but the one that struck hardest. The reflection. the tone, almost formal and mournful at the same time, and.. ** That is what he sent to me. And then Eveshka retreated to sleep. ** Ktai pales deeply, unable to form a reply, thinking it over Rayek's smile falters into a crooked version of itself and his fingers tighten slightly in their grasp over her hand. Dryly amused, he sends in attempt of humor: ** I think I am doomed to be deemed surogate father no matter my protests. ** Ktai manages to echo the crooked smile. ** Do you protest, Rayek? ** ** We will see, ** is all he offers before he quirks a brow in a sudden change of topic. ** Why are you up? It is late! The Moons are high in the sky. ** Ktai smiles softly. ** Tyree let me nap some earlier. I'm not very tired right now. Besides.. you weren't there. ** "I am here now." Suddenly his grasp on her hands turns firm and Rayek pulls the maiden in close towards him with a sharp, but gentle gesture. One hand releasing, he reaches to brush back some errant strands of her hair from her face, querying as he does so if, "Ekuar is with him then?" Ktai smiles softly and almost shyly as she tilts her head and sends affirmatively. Rayek makes a faint sound of relief, for the Chosen's veiled threat has gnawed at the Airwalker. Reassured that the child is not alone, the Airwalker moves to draw the onyx-eyed maiden into an embrace. ** Good. ** Ktai hugs him close to her in return, resting her head against his. ** Tell me... what happened? ** The send is gentle, as if she can sense the leftover unease in the air. Rayek's embrace tightens for the briefest moment, possessive, then relaxes with a faint smile. ** I will tell you later, Ktai. When I do not feel so weary. ** Ktai looks worriedly to him. ** You are well, and it was not Tsoran's actions? ** Rayek pulls away slightly to offer a reassuring, though tired smile. ** I am well, I am well. I have not seen that dung-bucket since that one moment before. ** Ktai sighs softly in relief. ** Good. ** A soft smile tickles her lips. ** Tyree is safe for the nonce... perhaps we should retire... to the caves...? ** ** Yes, that would be.. ** Rayek hesitates, then simply smiles again, releasing a faint breath. ** Yes, to the caves. ** Ktai smiles softly, fingers twining with his. [And so the pair retreat back to the underground chambers.. End Log.]