The World of Pern(tm) is copyright to Anne McCaffrey (c) l967.
The Dragonriders of Pern(r) is a registered copyright.

This is a log of roleplay on PernMUSH, available online by permission of
Anne McCaffrey, author of the Pern novels, and recorded by A.S. Korra'ti
(piper@murkworks.net), player of Mehlani of Telgar Weyr on PernMUSH.
This log may be distributed freely as long as this header remains intact.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Log Date:
	7/23/98

Log Cast:
	(People) Spyte, Aurian, Kassima, R'val, Mehlani, Neliea, M'kla,
K'star (NPC)

	(Fire lizards) Tola

Log Intro:
	Mehlani's quiet days at Telgar Weyr have taken a massive if perhaps
not entirely unexpected jolt, with the return of Journeyman Baker Jorenan
from duties that took him to the Southern Continent. Jorenan has sought out
Mehlani, and much to the girl's shock, he has asked her a string of deeply
unnerving questions... all amounting to wanting to know the status of her
feelings for K'star and Jorenan himself... and Jorenan has also confessed
his love to the bronzerider's daughter.
	Inwardly suspecting -- though she's never come right out and asked
him -- that K'star is very likely to be of a similar mind to Jorenan on
the topic of feelings for her, Mehlani has resolved to ask brown Indyth's
rider about his sentiments, a task easier said than done, for K'star and
his Wing have been out of the Weyr for several days now, carrying out
extended duty ferrying needed supplies to a distant Hold. It is no surprise,
either, that Kes's absence coincides with the decidedly green glowing shades
of both his cousin Kassima's dragon and that of his brother E'rian. Thus,
Mehlani has been forced to anxiously await K'star's return, growing more
restless by the hour. She's found herself asking Saskia for advice, and
she's found herself having to hide from Lysseth's rising... though Jorenan
complicated _that_, too, finding her in the runner pasture after the
dragons had flown, and only with difficulty managing to leave her with no
more attention than a few kisses.
	And here Mehlani'd thought that her life wasn't complicated
anymore....

----------
You walk through the large entrance to the Living Cavern.
Telgar Weyr's Living Cavern(#750RJM$)
Contents:
Spyte(#16078PJce)
Kassima
R'val
Aurian
Pierron
Obvious exits:
Lower Caverns  Kitchen  Bowl

Spyte smiles at Mehlani.

Aurian grins as she sees Lani, she picks up another redfruit lightly.

Kassima asks Aurian, turning to the Weyrling, "So... aside from S'dar and the 
  whole, um, juice incident, did any other chaos ensue yestereve? Evening, 
  'Lani."

R'val glances at Aurian with a grin, "Some chaos ensued, allrighty."

Aurian starts to peel the fruit, "Mischief and Mayhem."

Kassima asks hopefully, "Oh, do tell? You know I'm always fond of mischief 
  and mayhem, so long as someone else is the target."

Mehlani slips nervously into the room, returning wan little smiles to the 
  greetings given her, and bobbing her head in greeting as well, as she makes 
  her way for the klah.

Aurian murmurs, "Um yes." She blushes as she tries to speak.

Kassima regards the Weyrling consideringly for a moment. Naive or not, she 
  can still be shrewd when it suits her. "All right... so did any mischief and 
  mayhem ensue that wasn't of such a personal nature that 'twould be 
  embarrassing to speak of in the Living Cavern?"

Spyte yawns.

Kassima adds, "Besides S'dar's juice-talk. But he's nay here, so that doesn't 
  count."

Aurian ummms

Pouring herself a mug of klah, Mehlani glances restlessly at the others, her 
  delicate brows going up at Kassima's last comment; something, however, warns 
  the lass that she very likely just Does Not Want to Know what the green 
  rider might be meaning. Blushing pinkly, she turns, then, and seeks a seat.

Kassima curves a grin as the silence continues. "All right, so perhaps nay. 
  Or perhaps I should ask someone else for the various stories?"

Aurian coughs weakly, "Stories?

Kassima clarifies, "What happened. The whole S'dar thing, for one. I'm still 
  morbidly curious t'know why in Faranth's name he would be yelling about such 
  a thing."

Spyte falls asleep in her chair.

Mehlani pauses in the middle of beginning her klah, to peer with wide eyes 
  first at Aurian, and then at Kassima. She suspects, still, that she Does Not 
  Want to Know, but she finds herself listening anyway, the mug forgotten in 
  her hand.

Aurian murmurs, "He was drunk and loopy?

Kassima waves one hand in a vague gesture. "Granted," she acknowledges, "but 
  this is the first time I've heard of someone drunk and loopy yelling 
  about... what did you say 'twas again, Aurian?"

Spyte starts to slide down in her chair...

Aurian murmurs, "Pecker juice

Mehlani's eyes turn as round as marks.

R'val shrugs, "He's a bronzerider. They're all whacked."

Kassima snaps her fingers. "Exactly! That. What you said." She's not inclined 
  to repeat it. "D'you think *he'd* tell me, if'n I asked him?"

Mehlani slowly but inexorably begins to turn scarlet, and she finds herself 
  inadvertantly shooting to her feet.

Aurian shakes her head, "Maybe if you gave him a skin of wine

"I'll be sure t'filch one from Stores," Kassi agrees absently, eyes 
  flickering Mehlani-wards. "Hadn't you heard about this, 'Lani? 'Tis 
  apparently the story of the evening."

Spyte falls out of her chair, and sleeps soundly on the floor

Breathe, 'Lani. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. This is a Weyr, remember? A flight 
  happened last night, remember? Not as if it can be forgotten, but _still_... 
  she merely stands there round-eyed for a moment, shaking her head numbly to 
  Kassima, but it's to R'val that she finally manages to indignantly blurt, 
  "My... my father is _not_... 'whacked'!"

Aurian nods to Lani, "Blue riders are whacked."

R'val coughs, "And brownriders are eccentric." He grins at Mehlani, "No, your 
  father is not whacked."

Kassima asks, in faint surprise, "He's nay crazy, ever? I thought all riders 
  were. One of the prerequisites for the position, y'know. You have t'be crazy 
  t'do what riders do. Simple statement of life. Now, A'lex... *he* is 
  whacked."

Mehlani might be noted to blush again at the mention of brownriders, and she 
  gives Kassi a nervous, restless shake of her head, and R'val a wisp of a 
  smile. Only then does she recall she's holding klah, and that she'd gotten 
  up, perhaps instinctively wishing to flee. Gingerly, she settles down again.

Spyte yawns and sprawls.

Kassima recites, as though by rote, "Greenriders are psychotic, blueriders 
  are enigmatic, brownriders are sadomasochistic, bronzeriders are eccentric, 
  and goldriders are sadistic."

Aurian blinks, "We're sadomasochistic?

Kassima nods somberly. "Most of you are, anyway. Some are just masochistic. A 
  few are simply sadistic. But the round majority seems t'be sadomasochistic. 
  Mind, I am thinking primarily of male brownriders; females tend t'be 
  erratic."

Aurian nods.

Mehlani blurts, aghast, "Male brown riders are _NOT_...." She can't finish 
  the sentence. And her blush deepens, creeping further out from her cheeks, 
  and reddening her ears.

Kassima winks at Mehlani. "Ach, I don't know," she says lightly. "Even the 
  otherwise sensible ones tend t'do *something* masochistic in their 
  lives--aside from fighting Thread, I mean. Say... falling in love. Now 
  *there's* a masochistic act for you. Wouldn't do it if'n you paid me."

Spyte
This woman is small and dainty.... or so it seems. Her long, flowing, bright 
  orange hair frame a pale, freckled face with glowing green eyes. She is 
  short, and spunky, and loves animals. Her clothes are of simple design, just 
  a linen tunic and pants, cream in coloration. They are tucked into high, 
  wherhide boots, making her pant legs flare. Her curly hair is tied back in a 
  black and white ribbon, but a few locks always seem to fall down. She is 18 
  Turns, 10 months, and 16 days old.

Aurian says "Love? That's masochistic."
Aurian finishes another redfruit.

Mehlani glances sidelong at the young woman sprawled on the floor, fleetingly 
  wondering if Spyte is comfortable -- 'Lani can't imagine that napping on the 
  floor holds much comfort -- but most of her attention is still solidly 
  focused on trying to pretend she isn't blushing. This is not an easy task, 
  given that she's started blushing all the more furiously at Lysseth's 
  rider's mention of love and falling into it. Trying to sound as reasonable 
  as possible, she says in a strained little voice, "Well... it's... _not_ 
  masochistic... if two people are meant for one another, it is the most... 
  marvelous thing in the world...!"

Spyte snores softly.

"Told you," Kassi agrees. "Wouldn't touch the stuff, m'self. Aside from 
  family. That's different. And good friends... that's different, too. But 
  romantic love? Long-term relationships?" She gives a mock-shudder. Listening 
  to 'Lani, though, she does relent somewhat, falling more into seriousness, 
  "Aye, 'Lani, if'n two people are meant for one another... I suppose it could 
  be. Some pairings work out that way. And some don't. Most don't. I for one 
  don't count on it, but there are a few who are lucky."

Spyte snores...

Aurian fluffs her hair out.

Mehlani nods. Once, trying to look knowing. Then several more times, 
  succeeding only in looking decidedly unsettled. "Yes," she whispers to 
  Kassima, all the reply she's able to voice.

Spyte rolls over.

Aurian murmurs, "Love is good, or rather liking someone a lot can be nice."

Kassima offers Aurian a shrug and wry grin. "I'll take your word for it." To 
  Mehlani, she says seriously, "I hope you're one of the lucky ones, 'Lani, 
  if'n 'tis love that you're seeking."

Mehlani clutches her klah mug in both her hands, her gaze flashing from Aurian 
  to Kassima at the two womens' remarks. She keeps that gaze on Kassima, 
  looking panicked, and it takes her a few moments before she swallows hard 
  and manages to mumble, "Well, I... um... think it... found me..."

Spyte drools a little...

Aurian blushes a bit as she thinks of something.

Neliea walks in from the bowl.
Neliea has arrived.

R'val looks up and smiles, "Hey Neliea."

"I hear it occasionally does that." Kassi, perhaps to her credit, doesn't ask 
  for details; the girl looks scared enough as it is. "If'n you want to allow 
  yourself t'be found, well... it may be for the best. There are a number of 
  happy people out there, even if'n I don't understand 'em a whit."

Neliea nods as she tries to quietly slip into the cavern. Didn't work 
  (surprise) as she nods to R'val, "Heya R'val."

R'val winks, "How goes?"

Spyte snores softly on the floor.

"Well... if... um... certain people... are findable, well, I-I guess I'll 
  see... um...." 'Lani trails off, blushing anew as it seems to hear that 
  she's making absolutely no sense. Mortified at herself, she ducks her gaze 
  to her klah, missing Neliea's entrance, and gulps down a hot mouthful of the 
  stuff.

"Oh, just fine," Neliea replies smoothly as she continues on her path towards 
  the klah pot. "And how are you," she asks R'val. Just a usual day in the LC, 
  she guesses.

R'val shrugs amiably, sipping his klah, "A bit bored, otherwise fine."

Kassima murmurs, "Still sounds pretty masochistic t'me," perhaps referring to 
  Mehlani's discomfiture.

Aurian snatches a bubbly from a passing baker apprentice.

Mehlani misses Kassima's murmur. But nevertheless, she abruptly whirls back to 
  the green rider, her eyes liquidly plaintive, an edgy restlessness fairly 
  radiating from her young face, as she gravely inquires, "Do you... have you 
  heard whether Duskfire Wing has come in from the ferrying run yet?" Her 
  tone's steady enough, but that imploring look in her eyes wouldn't be 
  misplaced on a baby canine.

Neliea reaches for a mug and pours herself a mug of klah before finding a seat 
  next to Aurian. Nodding over the rim of her mug, she says, "Bored? That's 
  the opposite with me, but then you're not a weryling either." Yep. Never a 
  dull moment here.

Aurian curves a grin at Neliea.

Spyte rolls over again, sprawling on the floor under a table...

"I don't think so...." Kassi closes her eyes to confer with her lifemate. 
  "Lysseth says nay. But they're readying themselves t'come back. I imagine 
  that means Kes'll be seeing his own weyr for the first time in days... 
  Milleniuth did rise, didn't she?"

Neliea /was/ taking a sip of klah until she notice Spyte on the floor. Quickly 
  taking another sip of klah, she just watches in here. And no, she doesn't 
  want to know why she's on the floor.

Mehlani bobs her behatted head several times in gratitude at Kassima's news, 
  though it doesn't seem to lessen the tension in her dainty features in the 
  slightest. "I... I don't know," Mehlani blurts then, realizing with a jolt 
  that she _doesn't_ know the status of E'rian's green. "I haven't seen E'rian 
  since he kis--" And abruptly, her mouth clamps shut, a fresh blush floods 
  her features, and she locks her gaze swiftly down on her mug.

Aurian raises her eyebrows.

R'val sips his klah, when, abruptly, his chair breaks and he crashes 
  rear-first into the floor, "AUGH!"

Neliea sputters her klah softly back into her mug, quietly as she tries to 
  figure out who to watch or help. Both look to be fine, so she can stay 
  seated happily. And just watch.

R'val picks himself up, grumbling and cursing under his breath. He gives the 
  chair a kick, and moves to another.

Spyte yawns...

Kassima comments dryly, "I'm *nay* going t'ask. It seems like there's been 
  enough romance around here lately that one more incidence shouldn't surprise 
  me." She takes a deep breath, and blows it out in a considering sigh. "If'n 
  you wish t'speak t'him," she suggests tactfully, "I could request that he 
  stop in briefly, so long as it doesn't look as though Milleniuth's apt 
  t'rise *now*. As you can imagine, he's nay precisely eager t'risk Indyth 
  catching *her*."

At R'val's crashing over, Mehlani jerks as if someone had just fired a 
  crossbow bolt through her middle. As the blue rider gets himself up on his 
  feet, the girl peers down into her mug and looks abruptly queasy. Rising as 
  gingerly as she'd sat before, she nods wanly to Kassima and mumbles, "I... 
  need to speak with K'star..." She doesn't manage to look at the green rider, 
  though, as she stumbles off towards the kitchen, intent on pouring out her 
  klah.

Kassima nods, even though it's not likely that Mehlani can see her. "I must 
  really have missed something," she mutters. A bit louder, she calls over, 
  "I'll ask Lyss t'tell Indyth t'get his tail over here. I have a feeling 
  he'll be willing t'oblige."

Aurian remembers the bubble she's holding and starts to chew it.

'Lani catches Kassima's call as she steps into the kitchen and turns over her 
  klah to the first youngster she finds, trusting the boy to pour the stuff 
  out for her and get the mug cleaned. As she wanders back into the main 
  cavern, Mehlani bobs her head a few more times at Kassima, murmuring 
  absently, "Thank you..."

M'kla walks in from the bowl.
M'kla has arrived.

And Mehlani does not sit down. Indeed, the young behatted lass is either too 
  full of klah, too nervous, or both, to sit... she only bobs her head 
  overrapidly and politely at those in the cavern as she stumbles for the 
  Bowl. In passing, she gives M'kla a nervous nod, as well.

[And shortly....]

You head southeast into the Beast Hold.
Telgar Beasthold
Contents:
Nightsong(#15918be)
Fuzzy
Obvious exits:
Pasture  

Tola flutters in from outside.
Tola has arrived.
Tola pounces on a fat mouse as she woops in.

The beasthold. Nice, quiet, beasthold, where if someone's going to sleep on 
  the floor, chances are at least they'll be doing it in the hay, where it 
  doesn't look quite so odd. And where riders aren't falling out of suddenly 
  breaking chairs. And where other riders aren't having decidedly unsettling 
  conversations about love, and falling into it. Mehlani, having fled into the 
  refuge of this, one of her two personal sanctums, has made it to the door of 
  Nightsong's stall, and she leans tiredly against it while the mare sniffs 
  investigatively at her hat, perhaps wondering if she can nibble on it 
  without her owner looking.

It takes some time, but eventually, there's a crunch of boot-heels against 
  spilled oats to announce the presence of someone. "Indyth, if you think they 
  smell *that* good, you should probably go eat," a young baritone mutters. 
  "She's got to be in here...."

Nightsong's and Mehlani's heads come up at the same time. Both runner mare and 
  girl recognize that voice, though only the mare's ears flick up in that 
  direction. Mehlani can only think, _Kes_, a strange, frightening mix of 
  eagerness and trepidation abruptly coursing through her system. So it's up 
  to Nightsong to whicker herself a greeting, while 'Lani swallows, throat 
  gone dry.

Alerted by the whicker, K'star steps his way through the oats and around the 
  other stable debris towards the runner's stall. "Mehlani," he greets the 
  girl there warmly, his characteristic crooked grin flashing to life on his 
  features. "And Nightsong, too. Hey, girl." He offers his hand to the mare 
  for a scratching, but his eyes flicker down to the girl almost immediately. 
  "I got word from Lysseth that you wanted to see me. Is something wrong, 
  'Lani? I'm sorry I've been away, but Lysseth... and Milleniuth...." He 
  shrugs the hapless, uncomfortable shrug of a young man who isn't into incest.

'Lani's blue gaze rivets itself on K'star's face as the lanky young rider 
  approaches her. "I-I sent a note," she blurts, "but I guess Wili lost it... 
  I... no, nothing's _wrong_, but..." While Nightsong whickers again at the 
  brown rider, hoping for apples, the girl straightens and turns round to face 
  him, her hands drawing together unconsciously to wring before her breast. 
  All at once, she blurts, "I missed you!"

K'star starts to admit sheepishly, "I've been a bit hard to find for the past 
  few days--" when Mehlani's exclamation reaces his ears. Immediately, he 
  stoops down to offer her an embrace, looking both relieved that it's not 
  something more dire and concerned that 'Lani seems somewhat (okay, so that's 
  an understatement) shaken-up. "Hey, now," he murmurs reassuringly, "I'm 
  here, and here I plan to stay... unless Milleniuth starts increasing her 
  glow-power, anyway," he says in an attempt at making a joke. "I'd've offered 
  to take you with me, but my departure was... a bit sudden." Read: Kassi 
  wasn't the only one Lyss didn't give warning to before going into full-force 
  proddiness.

Mehlani immediately wraps her arms around the brown rider, burying her face 
  against his chest for a few moments, even as she whispers, "It's alright... 
  really, it's alright... it's just that..." Then, hesitantly, she lifts her 
  head, gazing up anxiously up into Kes's rugged young features. "I... you 
  see..."

Kes is quite content, and perhaps somewhat more than content, to hold 'Lani 
  close until she begins to draw away slightly. He tilts his head down to meet 
  her gaze, fedora to fedora, hazel eyes to blue. "Go on, 'Lani," he 
  encourages gently. "I'm here to listen."

"I... have to tell you something," the girl begins uneasily, her lower lip 
  tucking passingly beneath small white teeth. Clearly, it's a subject of 
  conversation causing her much discomfort. She clings to K'star's rangy frame 
  for moral and actual physical support, swallowing hard, and then finally 
  managing to continue, "J-Jorenan came back, and he talked to me, and..."

K'star goes rather still, though he hardly lets go of Mehlani. "Jorenan," he 
  repeats quietly. "I see. Or I think I do." Hey, he *could* be wrong, right? 
  "He is someone else who is... fond of you, isn't he?" Kes is just racking up 
  those understatement points tonight.

The nervousness broadcasting through Mehlani's eyes and expression is as 
  palpable as an Impression bond, tears already threatening in her gaze. Her 
  voice very small -- to 'Lani, it seems as if her words can only barely 
  squeeze out of her past the lump rising in her throat -- the girl breathes 
  hoarsely, "He... says he... loves me, Kes...!"

Stiller yet goes the brownrider. Though he does his stoic best to keep his 
  expression from breaking, his eyes give him away to those who know what to 
  look for: this is what he was dreading. Or rather... part of it. There's 
  another, worse matter, and one that he--being a masochist indeed--much 
  broach. Hoarsely, he asks, "Do... do you love *him*, 'Lani?"

Through her shy embrace, Mehlani feels the young man's reaction in his 
  stance... and she gets enough of the look in his hazel eyes that her own 
  features crumple up in aching empathy, her eyes fluttering shut, for she 
  can't quite bear to look at him. "H-He w-w-wanted to know that," she 
  stutters out tinily. Each syllable, each consonant, is catching in her 
  throat as she speaks it, but she forces herself to babble on, "A-and if... 
  if I-I-I love _you_ and if you..."

K'star forces himself to relax. Horror or no horror, hurting or frightening 
  Mehlani is still the last thing he wishes to do. "And if I love you?" he 
  finishes for her, some brief flash of hope springing to light in his eyes. 
  She didn't, after all, say, 'Yes.' Not yet. Nor has she said that she's 
  going to marry the Baker and head off to spawn little Baker-children. Yet. 
  Taking a deep breath, he asks in a low murmur, "What did you tell him?"

"Th-that I-I-I hadn't... asked you... how you feel," Mehlani mumbles 
  awkwardly, her eyes still closed. Tears are starting to well out between her 
  lashes, and she's quivering in Kes's grasp, though she's striving to avoid 
  it. "And... that I-I care about you both, very, very, very much... I-I don't 
  know if it's love, I'm just so h-horribly confused, and, oh, Kes..." She 
  then buries her face against his chest again; the words have burst out of 
  her, and she's reeling in their wake. Normal conversation is frequently 
  tough enough for the lass -- _this_ feels to her akin to having her insides 
  pulled out of her.

K'star hugs 'Lani closely, resting his cheek against her fedora and rocking 
  slightly as though to calm her. "Don't cry," he says helplessly, pulling 
  back a bit to look down at her. "Haven't asked me how I feel. Well... I'll 
  answer that one. But I've got a question of my own for you, first." He 
  reaches up one hand to brush away a tear with his thumb, offering her as 
  comforting a smile as he can manage. "What do you think love is, Mehlani?"

Nightsong's ebon gaze takes in the sight of the two humans; as far as the 
  runner is concerned, the desired apple has not been produced, and if she 
  can't have an apple, she wants her face brushed. Unfortunately for 
  Nightsong, this doesn't happen either, and at last, the mare whuffles 
  disgruntledly and shifts around in her stall to focus her attention 
  somewhere more gratifying: her feed bin.

Oblivious for once to her mare's needs, Mehlani lets Kes lift her chin up, and 
  she blinks tearily up at him. Relief flickers across her eyes as she seems 
  to sense that she hasn't wounded him... at least not past repair. 
  Simultaneously anxious and dreading to discover any signs of how badly he 
  might be taking all this, she hesitantly studies his face. And she murmurs 
  out shakily, "I... well... Father and Mother have it!" She knows this much.

K'star doesn't exactly look *delighted*, of course, but neither does he look 
  crushed. Pensive is perhaps the best way to describe him. Thoughtful. 
  Considering. Worried, a bit, and hopeful to match. "Aye," he says slowly, 
  "that's probably true. But what is it, 'Lani? What does it mean, to love 
  someone? How do you know if you do?" He does not, alas, have any sort of 
  fruit or vegetable in his pocket (so no wisecracked 'Is that a carrot in 
  your pocket or...' jokes!), more's the pity for Nightsong.

The girl considers this with all due gravity, seeming to have trouble keeping 
  her gaze all the way up to meet the rider's; it settles more or less in the 
  vicinity of the small Threadscore along his chin. Thinking very hard, she 
  ventures slowly, "You... want... to stay with someone... for life, even if 
  you can't al the time... " That's easy enough for her to reason out. She's 
  got seventeen Turns of watching her parents juggle duty and personal time, 
  after all.

K'star nods, seriously, understanding that... which he would, being a rider. 
  Being with any human being every moment of his life is definitely out. "Let 
  me tell you," he says after a moment, "what I always thought love was. I 
  thought it was finding a partner... someone to be with, someone you *want* 
  to share your life with, just as you said. Someone you want to have by your 
  side always. Someone who isn't just like you, but whom you respect and 
  admire, and care for... someone you'd try to protect from danger when you 
  could, and provide support when you can't. Someone who may not always 
  understand you, or agree with you... but who wants to be with you anyway. 
  And vice versa." A pause, then, "Would you agree that love is something like 
  that, 'Lani?"

As Kes speaks, his warm brandy-colored voice settling into her consciousness, 
  buoying her up somewhat even in the midst of the nervous anxiety that yet 
  grips her, Mehlani succeeds once more in meeting his gaze. She listens to 
  his every word, taking them and their meanings in. And when he stops, she 
  can with good conscience nod earnestly. She can't quite keep the relief that 
  K'star found the words she couldn't out of her face, however. All she says 
  is a huskily murmured, "Yes... I would...."

"Well." Something of a weight seems abruptly taken off of K'star's shoulders, 
  and he even smiles--a *real* smile, a warm smile, a touch of a giddy smile. 
  But it's not the fool's beam that it might've been if it weren't for 
  tonight's other news. "If that's what love is... then aye, I love you, 
  Mehlani." Simply stated, with no frills or promises of getting her all the 
  stars on a chain if she wants them or laying all his fortunes at her feet. 
  The real sentiment and truth behind the words can't be disguised, and 
  doesn't need embellishments.

And the girl needs no embellishments; the words alone, and the smile that 
  accompanies them, are more than enough to cause a sharp flare of answering 
  emotion in Mehlani's eyes. She seems to want to smile -- indeed, her mouth 
  momentarily broadens out into one of the largest smiles that's ever 
  blossomed across her face -- but she also starts to weep anew, now that it's 
  clear to her that yes, indeed, she _does_ have as complicated a situation as 
  she'd feared here. "Oh, Kes... I... ohhhhhh....." And tears begin to spill 
  down her cheeks.

For that brief moment, Kes matches 'Lani smile for smile, and it seems as 
  though the two smiles could light the entire Beasthold by themselves. It's a 
  moment of unbearable sweetness, heartbreaking joy, ephermal delight... 
  ephermal indeed. The spell is broken--or shadowed, at least--when the tears 
  begin again. Kes draws in a long, ragged breath, closing his eyes against 
  what he has to say. "And because I love you," he continues, his voice 
  cracking only slightly, "if... if you love Jorenan, and want to be with 
  him... I want you to be happy, 'Lani. I care more for you than for anything 
  or anyone except Indyth."

A miniscule whimper escapes Mehlani as she catches that crack in the rider's 
  voice, small though it might be. She tightens her hold on K'star, hugging 
  him in desperation, pressing her cheek against his chest. And she wails out, 
  her more frantic sentiments temporarily flattening her usual shyness, 
  "That's the _problem_! Oh, Kes, I-I-I care for you both so very, very much! 
  If I hurt either of you... I couldn't bear it, I just couldn't, I...." She
  starts trailing off, then, sobbing in earnest, the fit of vocal force 
  draining out of her as swiftly as it had come. "I couldn't...."

"Nay, nay! 'Lani--" K'star's accent, as is habitual, thickens with his 
  distress. "'Lani, the thing that would hurt us most is if *you* were hurt. 
  If Jorenan really loves you, I think I can speak for him in that. I can 
  certainly speak for me. If he was the one you chose... here, look at me, 
  lady. Your eyes are too beautiful to ever be marred by tears." He tries to 
  tilt her chin up so that he can meet them with his own, which are 
  suspiciously glistening, though he does the stoic thing and does *not* cry. 
  "It would hurt if you chose him, aye. But 'twould hurt much, much more if 
  you chose me... and then regretted the choice. That would cause you pain, 
  and I never want to see you suffer, 'Lani. Never."

Mehlani's chin is easily lifted, bringing wet blue eyes back into visual 
  alignment with glimmering hazel. Getting her tears to cease, that's another 
  story; her entire face is soaked now, though 'Lani is one of those lasses 
  who has somehow conquered the art of sobbing without turning her eyes and 
  her nose red and blotchy. "You could never cause me pain, Kes," she 
  proclaims fervently, albeit in a whisper, as loud as she can go right now.

"That's a good thing," Kes says with an attempt at lightness, though his voice 
  is still husky from the tears he will not shed. And all is still not 
  lost.... "Because the Weyrleader would have my life if I ever did." He takes 
  another swipe at her tears with his thumb, summoning a soft smile for her. 
  "Even crying, you're beautiful. But that's beside the point. 'Lani... if you 
  would, before you choose, something to consider. I love you. And he says he 
  loves you. That's all well and good--but whom do *you* love? That's who you 
  should be with." He is, no doubt, devoutly hoping that it will be *him*. But 
  to his credit, he doesn't say so. Instead, he continues, "If you love us 
  both, we can work something out. We're all young. We all have time. And if 
  this Jorenan is a good enough man for you to love, then he must be a good 
  enough man that all he'd want is your happiness, too. I know that's the only 
  thing I want."

'Lani sniffles tinily, her eyes closing a moment at the brush of the thumb 
  across her cheek, before she peeks up again. Who does she love? Oh, Faranth, 
  that's the question, isn't it? The bronzerider's daughter reels, even if 
  more mentally than physically; that's an awfully weighty question for those 
  slender shoulders. She doesn't answer K'star immediately. Instead, she gazes 
  liquidly up at him for several long moments, drinking in the sight of his 
  features; then her eyes close, as she lets the image settle into her bones, 
  along with the feel of his continued presence in her arms. And at last she 
  finds the strength to whisper, "J-Jorenan said that... he would be willing 
  to share me, if it came to that... and that... even if both of you were 
  here, I-I'd still be... alone, a lot. I... only know that if... I lost 
  either of you... if I lost you, it would be _horrible_...! I... I think..."

K'star's lips press together as he continues to gaze down at Mehlani, the love 
  in his eyes not dimmed, but instead accompanied by his realization that 
  there are bound to be rocky roads ahead. Never let it be said, though, that 
  *this* brownrider shirks away from a challenge. "I won't pretend that I 
  wouldn't be delighted if you decided to be mine, just mine... and wanted 
  only me for yours," he begins, his nature not allowing him not to tell the 
  truth. "But I would do almost anything to have you with me, in any way at 
  all. You're the one who has to decide what you want, 'Lani, but... if you 
  want to be with me, and with Jorenan too... I would rather have it that way 
  than to have to give you up completely."

_What do I want? I want to not have to make this choice! Why do I have to 
  -choose-?!_ Mehlani's mind wails at her. The wail doesn't make it into 
  voiced words, though; instead, her eyes still closed, Mehlani gives a shaky 
  nod. "I... think.... that I do not know wh... whether I... can choose either 
  of you yet, and... I-I-I still need... should decide... if I w-want to join 
  a Craft, and if I-I become an Apprentice... I couldn't choose yet anyway, 
  so...." Her eyes open as she trails off, and dares to peek up at K'star once 
  more to plead softly, "Don't leave me, Kes... please?"

"There's time," Kes repeats, holding onto that hope as well. "There's still 
  time. And I'll be here for you, however long it takes." After a moment's 
  hesitation, he lowers his head just a bit to kiss her lightly. "I would 
  never leave you, Mehlani."

Mehlani draws in a breath at that gentle kiss, her lips shyly replying to it. 
  Then she draws her arms back from around K'star's frame -- but only to lift 
  her hands to his face, tentative, painfully shy, cupping the planes of his 
  cheeks between her palms, once more drinking in his features. She swallows 
  hard, something dawning in her face almost too broad and brilliant to be 
  contained in one girl's delicate set of features.
"K'star, will you... kiss me again?"

Perhaps in unconscious echo, and perhaps out of reaction to this change in 
  'Lani, K'star rests his hands--strong, nimble, calloused rider-hands--on 
  'Lani's cheek in turn to drink in the sight of her face, eyes, and the 
  spirit within them as though it were an elixir from the Holy Grail itself. 
  "Your wish is my command, m'lady," he murmurs, and does indeed oblige.

[End log.]