The World of Pern(tm) is copyright to Anne McCaffrey (c) l967. The Dragonriders of Pern(r) is a registered copyright. This is a log of roleplay on PernMUSH, available online by permission of Anne McCaffrey, author of the Pern novels, and recorded by A.S. Korra'ti (piper@murkworks.net), player of Mehlani of Telgar Weyr on PernMUSH. This log may be distributed freely as long as this header remains intact. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Log Date: 7/19, 7/20, 7/21/98 Log Cast: (People) Jorenan, Mehlani (Fire lizards) Holl, Enri, Brodi Log Intro: Ever since her return to Telgar Weyr, after her long visit to Greystones Hold, Mehlani's life has been fairly calm -- no proddy fire lizards, very few proddy dragons, no surprise serenades or gifts from secret (or not-so-secret) admirers, no bad news. 'Lani's been content to focus on her favorite activities of Record study and the assisting in the stables, her daily ride on Nightsong, the care of her fire lizards, and just helping out around the Weyr wherever she can. She's even had time to consider a visit to Igen Weyr to visit her brother and his weyrmate and daughter. Much of why Mehlani's life has been calm, though, can be attributed to the recent absence of both K'star and Jorenan from the Weyr... at least, until this night, when Jorenan returns from his latest round of Craft duties to seek out Mehlani in the Records Room.... ---------- Your location's current time: 18:58 on day 1, month 9, Turn 23, of the Tenth Pass. It is a autumn evening. Jorenan strides in from the bowl. Jorenan has arrived. Peace and quiet reigns in the Records Room, and one young woman with a hat might be espied settled on a chair by the little hearth which provides light and just a bit of warmth on this summer evening. Three of Mehlani's fire lizards, blue Brodi, blue Enri, and bronze Holl, are drowsing in curled colored balls, the blues at her feet and Holl in her lap. 'Lani herself is reading. Jorenan peers into the cluttered space of the records room. After a moment, his eyes light upon Mehlani, and he comes the rest of the way in. He's considerably darker of skin than the last time he was seen hereabouts. His footsteps are quiet, and he stops before he gets all the way to Mehlani. He just looks at her. The girl catches those quiet footsteps, though, and lifts her head from the book that has held her attention; that's her only motion, though. As her gaze seeks out and lights upon the young Journeyman, her expression brightens, and she says, a smile tugging at the ends of her mouth, "Hello...!" He grins slowly. "I should've known I couldn't sneak up on you." He looks her up and down for another long moment, and then goes over and bends down to give Mehlani a solid hug. He breathes in the scent of her hair, something he's done before sometime, and says, "I've missed you." Seeing him coming, 'Lani readily sets down her book, though the hug makes Holl wake up in her lap, squeaking a sleepy protest as he's lightly squashed. He squirms out from between the two humans and drops down to the floor, while Mehlani, not seeming to mind that her hat is nudged aside so that Jorenan has free access to her auburn locks, readily returns the hug. "And I you," she murmurs back warmly. Jorenan lets go and gives Holl a grin. "Sorry," he says to the bronze lad. "I didn't mean to eject you from so nice a resting spot." He sits back on his heels and adds to Mehlani, "So. Tell me everything that's happened in the last two months!" Mehlani giggles softly, letting Jorenan pull back. The sound of their voices, as well as Holl's disgruntled scuttling under the hair, wakes up Enri, who peers sternly upward at the humans while Brodi blissfully snoozes on. "Well... things have been pretty quiet for me," she admits. "Taking care of Nightsong... and my fire lizards... what I usually do. But Father sent me a letter, he says that Harlan is walking now." Jorenan has been away from Weyrs and dragonkind, and this sudden plethora of them gives him a moment's pause. His faint frown at Enri is a complex thing; more thoughtful than anything else, perhaps it's a reminder of something. He turns back to Mehlani with a smile, though, and says, "Harlan's your most recent sib, yes? Mum's decided not to have any more, now that my sibs are having some of their own. She says she prefers grandmothering." Mehlani bobs her auburn head earnestly at Harlan's identification, and then she pinkens at Jorenan's further words, smiling shyly. "Parents... seem to talk about that a lot," she murmurs. That causes a quirk of the lips and then a rueful grin. "Aye," Jorenan agrees. "That they do. But Mum's got four of my sibs working on grandchildren for her; she's reasonably content that I've not started, so long as I assure her that I'm working on the prerequisites." There's got to be a fascinating conversation behind that remark, based on the faint smile and the slight roll of the eyes. Mehlani blushes again, though she's still smiling, her gaze on Jorenan's face where he's hunkered down before her. "I see," she murmurs shyly. Jorenan considers for a long moment, and then adds, "Of course, Mum's got any number of suggestions on the whole matter. Both on who's appropriate from among the girls she knows, and on how to, well, err. Win someone over." 'Lani's wide blue eyes hold a measure of bemusement at the turn this conversation has taken, though her natural politeness... and a strange kind of curiosity... prompt her to remark, "She... talked about this a lot... huh?" Jorenan nods slowly. "Aye," he says quietly. "So she did. She says, err, well. She says she'd prefer me to live closer, but that I seem to've made a life for myself up here." It would not be impossible to guess that that's not where he started to go with this conversation. Solemnly, and equally slowly, Mehlani nods. She pauses, searching for words, and then adds, "That is very understanding of her... I'm glad to hear it." Jorenan nods, and glances away for a moment, perhaps trying to decide what to do with the conversation from here. "It took a bit of convincing," he says dryly. "Your parents -- do they, well, are they bothering you, too?" Enri chirruples brusquely, and 'Lani leans down to scoop the little blue up into her lap, to give her hands something to do while she seems to consider Jorenan's question. Stroking the creature's head, Mehlani allows, "Not... in so many words... Father wouldn't. But I think he really likes having a grandchild. And Mother... I guess she... still wants to know what I'm going to do with myself..." Jorenan nods. "Well? What are you going to do with yourself?" he asks quietly. "It's a worthwhile question, I'd think." "I know...." Mehlani drops her gaze to her little blue, then peeks back up again, a more obvious movement than usual with her hat off. "I've been... thinking very hard about it." Jorenan realizes he's knocked the hat awry with his hug, and takes it from wherever it ended up. He turns it in his hands (something for them to do, no doubt) and then asks, "Any thoughts you're willing to share?" he asks. Mehlani smiles a little, and murmurs softly, "I have been... wondering if it is too late for me to get into a Craft... I'm seventeen now..." Jorenan considers. "Seventeen," he says musingly. "The Bakers wouldn' thave a problem with that age. I don't know about any of the others. If you've some experience that'll stand for training, probably any of them would take you." "The Harpers... and the Herders... both asked Father about me... when I was still at Benden," Mehlani murmurs. Jorenan nods. "Those'd both make sense," he agrees. Even if he's never yet heard Mehlani sing. Then he leans back against the leg of a nearby table and looks into middle space for a moment. "Had my Turnday while I was away," he says. That might appear to change the subject for the moment. "The spoons are still the nicest gift I got." Then he adds, "Apprentices aren't allowed to be involved with anyone." "Happy Turnday," Mehlani says promptly. Beneath her chair, Holl has curled up by Brodi and dozed off again, but Enri peers sternly at Jorenan, a tiny blue chaperone. She smiles at the mention of the spoons, and begins to speak, then the young Baker's final words catch her and make her blush again. "I know," she says quietly, down in the direction of Enri's tail. Jorenan glances up. "What'd you start to say?" he asks. A smile peeks at the corners of Mehlani's mouth, and she meets Jorenan's brownish gaze long enough to say softly, "I'm glad you like the spoons....!" Jorenan ahs, and smiles. "I do." Then he's quite for a long bit. He's sitting by Mehlani's feet, and ends up looking at them. Again that small frown wanders across his face. "So you'd give up on K'star to be a herder?" he says. That question catches Mehlani by surprise. She stares wide-eyed at the young man for a moment, before turning crimson, unable to say anything more than "I..." Her gaze plummets to her lap. Jorenan smiles slowly. "You what?" he asks gently. "If... I went for a Herder... or a Harper," murmurs Mehlani very lowly, "I think that K'star would wait for me, I mean... Weyrlings are not supposed to be involved with anyone either, but that never stopped Kes and Eyr from being sweet to me..." She trails off, then, and her blush deepens. Jorenan is silent for a long while, staring at Mehlani's hat. "Aye," he finally says, for he has to say something, now doesn't he? "I'd guess they would. They're both honorable sorts." He shifts, perhaps needing suddenly to be elsewhere, but yet unwilling to leave. Troubled -- things always seem awkward when K'star comes up in conversation with Jorenan, and they seem awkward to Mehlani now -- the girl offers hesitantly, "E'rian isn't... he doesn't... he isn't..." Jorenan looks up. "He's not interested," he supplies quietly. "That's..." He stops. "I..." He stops again. "Right," he finally says. He takes a deep breath. "I should stop acting like this," he says. Perhaps he's admonishing himself. "You and K'star, well. Is it set?" he glances up, actually asking this time. "Either way, I should just knock it off." The hat turns and turns in his hands. "Set... how?" queries Mehlani, her voice scarcely audible. Then she blurts, "I-I don't mind you asking..." He shakes his head. "Asking is all right," he says quietly. "Wishing it were different isn't though, now is it?" He doesn't clarify his previous questions; perhaps he thinks Mehlani is just having to take the time to think it through. Mehlani's delicate features crinkle up, her eyes limpid, her expression torn. "I... well... he has asked me... questions like this before..." If her cheeks redden any further, her face is liable to catch fire. And in her lap, Enri lifts his head, chirping lowly and shortly, trying to figure out why the humans are acting strangely towards one another. Mehlani concludes tinily, "I... haven't moved in with him and Indyth, if that is what you are asking." Jorenan glances up and regards Mehlani steadily. "Asked you questions like which one before?" he asks. "He asked me... if I'd ever thought... about pairing with someone... for life..." Mehlani barely gets the words out, her gaze still down, her cheeks still aflame. Jorenan nods slowly. "What'd you say?" He's gone calm, and somehow still. It's hard to say exactly what the emotions behind his calm are, except probably a simple waiting. "I..." Mehlani's words turn more unsure, and Enri trills uneasily, raising his whirling gaze up to her. Watching her fire lizard rather than the Journeyman, 'Lani continues, "... told him... I would want to... if someone... truly loved me..." Jorenan considers that. "What, and not if you truly loved them?" Mehlani doesn't look up, but she answers swiftly, softly, "... and if I loved him..." Jorenan purses his lips. "Does K'star truly love you?" he asks. His voice is still steady, his entire demeanor calm. Slowly, fearful of what she might see, Mehlani lifts her head. Her gaze is entirely liquid now, blue and brimming with emotion. "He cares about me very much," she answers without hesitation, though her voice is very small. Jorenan meets the eyes steadily. "Does he truly love you?" he asks again. Apparently caring a great deal isn't' the same, for him. "I haven't asked him," the girl whispers. Jorenan considers that answer. "It would make things clearer," he finally says, "if you asked him that. Do you truly love him?" Calmly delivered as it is, Jorenan's latest query provokes a sharp reaction from Mehlani. She pulls in a shaking breath, her lower lip beginning to quiver, dampness beginning to well up within her azure eyes. "Be..." That syllable comes out of her hoarsely; she has to wet her lips before she can continue, "Before... I answer that... will you tell me... why you want to know?" He considers for a long, long moment. Then, after due thought, he says, "Because I'm tired of wondering. After you answer that one, I've got another." In Mehlani's lap, blue Enri creels, not liking the way his mistress's face is radiating tension and nervousness and worry. Under the chair, Holl and Brodi have roused, but they haven't moved, and instead only peer out and up with yellow-tinged, whirling eyes. 'Lani swallows and whispers, "I care for him very much. I don't know if it's love. I don't think I'm wise enough to know..." Again, she trails off, but her liquid gaze stays up, stays fixed on the young man before her. He quirks his mouth, a hrmph his only response for a moment. It's a resigned sort of sound, as if he's recognizing that there are no easy answers. Never were, shouldn't have expected them. After a long pause, he takes a breath and says, "The other question is this. Do you truly love me?" 'Lani's tears begin in earnest, then. Enri issues another creel, a small anxious rumble of a sound, and starts trying to clamber up against his mistress's chest. Holl and Brodi both creel worriedly from under the chair, and in the midst of them, Mehlani sits, her only motion to shift her slender arms enough to let Enri clamber up onto them. She breathes out, "I also care for you... very much...." His nod is slow, and finally he looks up into Mehlani's tearful gaze, and then shifts to kneel in front of her. He takes her hands in his. "It's not easy, is it?" he asks quietly. "If it'll make it any easier, I don't have any problems sharing you. And this I know, for I've thought about it. -I- love you." A minute, choked gasp is the only response Mehlani is able to voice. Tears streaking down her cheeks, she lets her hands be taken, though it makes Enri bugle his annoyance that his perch on 'Lani's forearms is disturbed. As the blue tumbles off out of the way, the young woman sits up, thunderstruck, marvelling, her gaze never leaving the Baker's features. He gives a small smile. A very small one. Then Jorenan pulls her hands down and kisses the palm of the left one. "There you have it," he says. "I thought about it all the time I was gone, and I finally had to admit it to myself." Enri is forced to perch on the back of Mehlani's chair, and he flaps indignantly, his dark blue wings flared out, his demeanor affronted... but his eyes are whirling yellow. Holl bugles underneath the chair. But Mehlani herself still stares tearfully at Jorenan, and then all at once leans swiftly forward to wrap her arms around him, bury her face against his shoulder, and weep. Jorenan stands on his knees so as to better be able to hug Mehlani. He gives her the close, comforting hug; the kind you give and get from a small, tired child. He strokes her hair, but says nothing at all. His eyes meet Enri's whirling yellow gaze calmly. If there is pain, it is hidden deep. Or perhaps, perhaps it's worn on a sleeve, far away from his face. Evident, acknowledged, accepted for what it is, and allowed to be a part of him. Her dainty form is trembling, and she keeps trembling, even as she huddles in that sheltering embrace. It takes several long moments, in which three concerned fire lizards pipe out their worry -- Holl and Enri's bolder voices almost drowning out the shyer Brodi -- before 'Lani finally mumbles, "I'm sorry... I... I don't mean to cry..." He keeps stroking her hair for bit, and finally he takes a breath. "I'm sorry I made you cry," Jorenan answers softly. "But if it means you'll hold me like this, I suppose it's all right." Lifting her head, her arms still curled round the Baker's shoulders, Mehlani looks anew into his face. She's heard the words now; still, there's a kind of pleading in her wet blue eyes, a need to understand in her blood and her bones and her heart what her ears have already received. "Wh-what do you think we should do now?" she whispers tinily, far more emotion in her shy searching gaze than she's able to relay with her breathless voice. A hand comes up and strokes Mehlani's cheek. He wipes away a trail of tears, and then smiles at her. "What should we do now depends," he says, "on a number of things. Personally, I'd like to kiss you, if you don't mind." Mehlani succeeds in a smile of her own, her familiar shy small smile, each corner of her mouth curling upward. Her eyes still wide and wondering, she bobs her head a single time in awestruck consent. Jorenan leans forward slowly, meeting her eyes the whole way. Just before their lips meet, his eyes close. It's a gentle kiss, but entirely thorough. P'raps he practiced somewhere along the way. And it lasts and lasts and lasts. Mehlani's own eyes shiver closed, and somewhere along the way, the shivering of her dainty form subtly changes, into a different kind of trembling entirely. Her arms squeeze more closely around Jorenan's shoulders, and by the time they part for breath, her face has changed, too. Her tears have stopped, though dampness still makes long starry points of her lashes round the edges of her eyes; her cheeks have flushed rose, and her lips are parted, softened, fuller. Perhaps she's wondering exactly when Jorenan's been practicing his kissing, for her eyes open again, full of a new light of wonder. Jorenan just grins into Mehlani's eyes for a moment, and then kisses her forehead gently. "Well now, lass. That was right pleasant." That becoming flush is still pinkening 'Lani's cheeks. Unable to tear her wide-eyed gaze away from the young Baker's features, Mehlani just bobs her head in fascination. The edges of her mouth flicker for a moment, as though she might smile, though the smile doesn't quite make it into being. Perhaps she's too stunned. He gives Mehlani a very gentle shake and says, "Dear me. I've made her lose her faculties! Are you in there, dear?" Jorenan grins as he says it, and really seems pretty happy about the result, all in all. That coaxes a shy smile into being, as 'Lani blushes a little more. She nods again, looking a little more alert, but no less awed. Jorenan considers the silent Mehlani again. Then, seeing no other options, he kisses her again. There is a focus in the kiss, a complete focus on the kiss, on Mehlani, on everything about their interactions. Definitely been working on this, he has. If Mehlani had been struck speechless and breathless before, she positively melts now. Oblivious to the baffled chitterings of Holl and Enri and Brodi, who flutter uncertainly about the two young people, 'Lani sways. Swaying, she clings to Jorenan's shoulders, her mouth soft and responsive beneath his own. Well now. This seems to be a fine state of affairs. Jorenan doesn't seem at all inclined to change one single thing that he's doing. In fact, he seems entirely inclined to keep it just like this permanently. Though the hand not holding the hat comes up to twine into her hair. Eventually, breath must be taken again, for to Mehlani, it seems as if the room's trying to swirl around her. Her head tilts back against Jorenan's hand, though she seems unable to move any farther away from him than is necessary for her to take in air. Holl creels, and Enri chitters low and anxious, and 'Lani mumbles, eyes closed, "I'm... alright..." A hand comes up and strokes along the outline of Mehlani's jaw, and then down along the line of her neck. Jorenan's eyes open slowly, and again his grin comes wandering up again. "I hadn't thought much beyond right here," he admits. "Not that this is a bad place to be." It's easy to feel the girl's slight frame quivering; her jaw quivers, too, under those stroking fingers. Mehlani manages to open her own eyes again, with an effort, and she manages to breathe a "no" of agreement. Somewhat assured that their human seems cognizant, or at least somewhat, the fire lizards peer intently at the two humans. The time for discussion seems to be fading away again; Jorenan's become fascinated by Mehlani's neck. He brushes it with his lips once, and then again. That hand, which would now be in the way if it stayed where it was, slides down and behind her back. It comes to rest just at the narrowest part, and holds her tight. Mehlani gasps softly, and finally sways forward off the chair, her head falling to Jorenan's shoulder. She's quivering more now, in the grip of clearly unfamiliar sensations, and she whispers in a voice full of starlement, "J-Jorenan...?" Jorenan gives Mehlani's neck one last gentle brush, like the brush of the fuzz of fruit against the skin. Then he pauses. His whole being reflects an unseen smile. "Aye?" he says against her neck. "I...." Mehlani swallows, nervous, torn, and marvelling all at once. Try to talk, or let Jorenan keep doing.... what he's doing? Decisions, decisions. Still, one thing is certain, and that's that the maiden seems incapable of releasing the young man; her head remains nestled on his shoulder, her arms entwined around his body. "You... you said... things... depend on things....?" And Mehlani frowns tinily at her own incoherence, though the frown has no audience except the cloth of the Baker's shirt. It appears the decision is no easier for Jorenan, for he falls back to nuzzling Mehlani's neck whilst she's talking. Which may explain the difficulty she has with it. "Things depend on things?" he finally answers. "I said that?" Though it's a bit more broken up than that, as he's still fascinated by her neck. "Wh.... what... we should do?" Mehlani whispers, the last word coming out in something of a squeak. Indeed, talking is hindered when one's neck is receiving such attentions. Enri, disgruntledly, leaps off the chair and backs off to a nearby shelf, but keeps a gimlet gaze on the entwined pair. Brodi cheeps once, and then reluctantly follows Holl as the bronze skitters off across the floor. That brings something of a more serious pause. The answer, on the other hand, may not be received as entirely satisfactory. "Well," says Jorenan, "I think your neck is delicious. Probably the rest of you is, too." My, my. Bold, isn't he? Either that or he heard it said once and thought it was a nice thing to say. Hard to tell with him sometimes. It certainly sounds bold to Mehlani, who gives another soft, surprised gasp. She then blurts tinily, her voice shivering with a hint of might be laughter and what might merely be panic, "I-I mean... I... I don't know... what we should do..." He can't help laughing, and finally pauses in his investigations of the taste and texture of Mehlani's neck. He raises his head and, good humor in his eyes, says, "Well. We could get married, but that seems a bit premature. How about if we hold hands in the Living Cavern a lot, look absolutely googly at each other at every possible opportunity, and attempt to drive the entire Weyr insane with how dreadfully cute we are?" Mehlani meets Jorenan's gaze again, and giggles a little, but then the giggle fades, and uncertainty darkens her eyes. "And... I should... talk to Kes," she whispers. And, after a beat, something else belatedly sinks in, as Mehlani blurts, "Married...?!" Jorenan chuckles. "Thought you'd notice that one. I'll ask you again in a few Turns, all right?" Then he goes a bit more serious, and he says, "I meant what I said, Mehlani. If I have to share you, then, well, I will." Something in Jorenan's expression apparently has answered that earlier pleading in 'Lani, that need to feel in her bones the truth behind his declaration. Her eyes well over with a new wash of tears, though she doesn't seem sad; rather, she's vividly moved, and she shyly squeezes the young man she's holding, promising fervently, "I'll talk with him... as soon as I can....!" Jorenan strokes Mehlani's cheek gently, wiping away new tears. "And what will you tell him, dearheart?" His own reaction, one of mildly giddy good humor, is mostly under control. THere's just that smile to give him away. Oh, Faranth, what a question! Mehlani blinks a few times, calling up without trouble in her mind's eye the brownrider's rugged young features, though she can't quite imagine how K'star's visage will change when she brings him the news she must relay. "I'll..." She pauses, flailing for words, till at last she brings a slender hand round to lift to Jorenan's cheek. And she finishes softly, "I'll tell him you love me...!" Jorenan leans into Mehlani's hand, a support against a great deal. He nods and says, "I suspect he's going to want to talk to me about that." He doesn't mention that the talking will likely be done with fists. That's just the way things are. Then he turns a little and kisses the part of Mehlani's hand that's closest. Uncognizant of any potential future meeting of brownrider fist with Baker jaw, Mehlani only nods gravely, her palm cupping Jorenan's cheek beneath it. "K'star is an honorable man," she murmurs. Then she pauses, and adds tenderly, "Thank you... for understanding...!" He glances back at Mehlani, a smile wandering across his face. "Understanding what?" he says. 'Lani struggles for words here, too. She drops her sky-hued gaze for a moment, then brings it back up to whisper, "That... both of you... are in here..." Her one hand remains lightly pressed along Jorenan's face, as her other comes back around him to touch her heart. Jorenan considers that for a long, long moment. "It won't be easy all the time," he admits. "There will be days when I probably -won't- understand. But... I'm to be gone a great deal, and Kes will be duty-bound a lot, too. You're still likely to be alone a lot." "I-I know," Mehlani murmurs. She moves again to hug Jorenan closely, her arms conveying that knowledge along with her voice. "I.... I know..." Jorenan returns the hug after a moment, his long arms enveloping Mehlani entirely. After a moment, he leans back and says, "Dear heart, my knees are killing me." Yes, he's been kneeling all this time. Mehlani blinks, gives a little gasp of dismay, then starts trying to get up. "I-I'm sorry!" she breathes. Jorenan laughs and holds on to Mehlani as she tries to get up, but in the end he's got to unkink his knees, so he stands up and then pulls her up after him. Of course, now there's the difference in heights, which hasn't been all that apparent until now. "Hmmm," he says consideringly. "This might be a challenge." 'Lani looks up and up to Jorenan's dark eyes, and gives another little giggle. "I could get a stool," she suggests, her tone as grave as always, though something in her blue regard speaking of wryness. Jorenan laughs. "Well, that's an option. Or I could get knee-pads," he suggests. A smile peeks out along Mehlani's mouth, and she giggles again, softly. Her hands come up to touch Jorenan's shoulders, and then she murmurs, "I should go find K'star...." Jorenan leans down to give Mehlani a last kiss, and then nods. "I think you should, dear heart. Tell him, if he wants to talk to me, that I'm willing." "I will..." Mehlani promises. She pauses, then gives the Baker one last gentle squeeze... and stands on her tiptoes to shyly brush her lips against his cheek. Her eyes are very full when she lowers herself down again. "Will you... walk me out?" Jorenan loops Mehlani's arm through his own. "Why, of course, milady. Anywhere in the world you want to go." [End log.]