The World of Pern(tm) is copyright to Anne McCaffrey (c) l967. The Dragonriders of Pern(r) is a registered copyright. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A.S. Korra'ti From: Amanda Hayes Sent: Friday, July 05, 1996 1:02 AM To: dewshine@eskimo.com Subject: Return of Puberty: The Hormonal Nightmare! :) ---------- Benden Weyr> Kassima detects and tosses chocolate-orange creme waffles to a F'hlan. Benden Weyr> F'hlan peers. Does he want to eat these? Are they going to send him hurtling back into puberty? Benden Weyr> Jazmin gets out the binoculars.. this I've gotta watch. :) Benden Weyr> Kassima snickers. I still haven't perfected the Induce Puberty formulae... getting closer, though. It appears that I need to find a way to bottle a green dragon's Aura of Green Glowing Proddiness. Benden Weyr> Jazmin ooohs in appreciation.. Benden Weyr> F'nar slips Kassi a bottle of that special combination of growth hormone, sex hormones, and thirteen year old's ground bones that should do the trick. Benden Weyr> F'hlan mutters warding curses at the Evil One. Benden Weyr> Kassima oooohs at F'nar! If I zap this with my Proddy-O- Zap, then add that powdered crystalized Green Glowishness, and combine *that* with the previous Evil Potion... muwahahahahahahahaha. Benden Weyr> F'hlan peers in horror at his wingmate F'nar, and realizes, to his dismay, that Kass must have brainwashed HIM along with R'val. Benden Weyr> F'nar aims the final weapon at F'hlan. "I'm just making sure I'm outta the room when this sucker goes off. It'll be worse than a gold flight. Benden Weyr> Jazmin wows.. instant Kassi mix!@ Benden Weyr> Kassima hees evilly and lets F'nar throw the actual end result, since she isn't sure how wide a radius it has. She, of course, hides safely up on her ledge where she can watch. Not that she needs to fear the effects, but still.... Benden Weyr> Kethran wavies. Benden Weyr> Jazmin tacklesnugs a Kethran. :) Benden Weyr> F'hlan starts to threaten F'nar with assigning him to mucking duty for the next three sevendays if he even THINKS about it, but realizes, horrified, that he can't pull that anymore because F'nar has the same rank he does -- but WAIT! P'tran made him temporary Weyrsecond! With this heartening thing in mind (and pausing a moment to wave to Kethran), F'hlan eyes F'nar sternly and tells him, "Don't even think about it." Benden Weyr> F'nar just throws the controll over to Kethran. Push that big red button. Benden Weyr> Kethran eeeps! And longs into a monster-pose from F'hlan ;) Benden Weyr> F'hlan says, "Kethran, don't listen to anything F'nar has to tell you. Kassima brainwashed him." Benden Weyr> Kassima hides her box of Tide (the special Bluerider's Brains formula) and looks innocent. "Who, me?" Benden Weyr> F'nar says, "But Alyssa wants you to. You'd do ANYTHING for your sister, right?" Benden Weyr> Jazmin sneaks up while the men are bickering.. toward the button of doom.. Benden Weyr> Kethran umm-hummms to F'hlan. "Sure. Right." Benden Weyr> Kassima silently urges Jazmin on, hoping she can complete the Holy Mission and detonate the Doom Bomb of Induction of Puberty! Benden Weyr> Kethran eyes /both/ of you suspiciously. "Just what am I being asked to do?" he asks carefully. Benden Weyr> N'fan stays out of this. :) Benden Weyr> F'hlan crosses his arms and fixes Kethran with his most truthful, honest, and utterly guileless look. Would this face lie to you? Benden Weyr> Jazmin tiptoes past Kethran and then past F'nar and finally past F'hlan, pausing to swoon briefly before reaching towards the button. Benden Weyr> Kethran peers at the face, and then at the array of proddy green FL's, and continues to eye F'hlan warily. Benden Weyr> The button seems to whisper to Jazmin, "Push me... push me...." Benden Weyr> Kethran peeeeeeeers at button. "What's it do?" Benden Weyr> Jazmin finally pounces and presses the button, "This is what it does!!" Benden Weyr> Kethran hmmms. "Induction of Puberty." Sounds like a good thing. Nonchalantly, he presses it gently. Benden Weyr> Kethran pushes Jazmin's finger, rather ;) Benden Weyr> F'hlan informs Kethran in very solemn tones, "Kassima, rider of green Lysseth, is the epitome of Evil, and she has made it her solemn mission" -- *ZAP!* As the button is pushed, Tzornth's rider is engulfed in a flare of nacreous green light, and when it fades, he is still standing in the same position, except that now the grey in his hair is gone, his face has lost all traces of weathering, and his voice has suddenly gone up a third -- "in life to induce... AIGH!" Benden Weyr> Jazmin, as a note, seems to be getting the jump on everyone tonight. ;) Benden Weyr> Kethran also breathes a sigh of relief that Jazmin isn't a Weyrwoman. Benden Weyr> The button, pressed twice, makes the bomb explode with DOUBLE the force! Evil green rays of Puberty Induction spread over the area, seeking their target... that bronzerider! Benden Weyr> Kethran giggles and applauds. "Did someone forget to mention to the aforementioned bronzerider that I'm taking Evil-lessons from Kassi?" Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan blinkblinks big dewy brown eyes, and mutters, "Ohmigosh." Benden Weyr> Kassima snickers evilly at the youthened F'hlan, then does an evil dance of triumph on her ledge. "Yes! My Evil Mission is a success!" Benden Weyr> Jazmin stands and cackles.. sounding more and more like Kassima with every passing moment.. Benden Weyr> Kethran grins. "Hey, I wonder what F'hlan looks like ICly?" Benden Weyr> Jazmin says, "I think there's something in the water." Benden Weyr> R'val remedies the situation; he tosses an Age Bomb at F'hlan, which unfortunately turns F'hlan into a rather old man :) o o ( Ever read ElfQuest, Kethran? ;) ) Benden Weyr> Kethran nopes, but does like eves ;) Benden Weyr> Kethran says, "eves=elves" Benden Weyr> F'hlan gads! at R'val and dodges. He's a 17-turn-old now, and can get away with this. "Watch where you're throwing that thing!" he squeaks. "I have to fly Fall!" Benden Weyr> Kethran is named after a Sidhe, after all, right R'val? Benden Weyr> R'val dohs! Benden Weyr> R'val says, "A what? :P :)" Benden Weyr> Kethran says, "Sidhe=elf." Benden Weyr> Kassima leaps from her ledge into the air and backwings to a 9.8 point landing in the Bowl, then cackles wickedly. "Yes! It worked! There shall be chocolate waffles for everyone, to celebrate!" Benden Weyr> Jazmin peers shortsightedly at you all, "Pass me my cane sonny.." she mutters at the youthful F'hlan, her hair gray and her back stooped from R'val's bomb. Benden Weyr> F'hlan looks like Strongbow of Elfquest, Kethran, except that F'hlan is about two feet taller, has smaller eyes, round ears, and five fingers instead of four. Benden Weyr> Kethran says, "Sure that isn't a 9.8 meter-per-second landing in the bowl, Kassi?" Benden Weyr> R'val aies at Jazmin. Ut-oh. Benden Weyr> Kethran urks. Benden Weyr> Kassima eeks at Jazmin. "Uh, F'nar, do you have any more of that potion of yours?" She, fortunately, avoided the blast of the age bomb, being Eternally Immature. Benden Weyr> Kethran grins at F'hlan. "Good thing this is NC... otherwise, a male greenrider might swoop down and fly off with you ;)" Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan turns vividly crimson. "Um... no, wait, I can't! I, uh, I..." Benden Weyr> F'nar tosses Kassi another bottle, and tells y'all to say hi to Nikki. Benden Weyr> Kassima waffles to Nikki. "Hi! We're insane!" Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan struggles to look stern and Wingleaderlike, and squeaks at Kethran, "I-I-I-I have a weyrmate!" (Hi Nikki!) Benden Weyr> Jazmin waves her cane at Nikki. Benden Weyr> F'nar thinks she knew that already. :) Benden Weyr> R'val peers. Nikki? What Nikki? Benden Weyr> Kethran giggles. "Does your Weyrmate know about this?" Benden Weyr> Suddenly, Kethran falls asleep and bamfs. Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan, realizing that his stammer has returned, mentally curses Kassima with as many curses as he can think of. Benden Weyr> Kassima catches the bottle and hurls it at Jazmin. "Here, try this!" She grins evilly at YoungF'hlan and raises her arms in a chant to the ProddyRiderGoddess--to Summon the Spirits of Greenriders Past! The ghostly greenriders all swarm about F'hlan. Benden Weyr> Jazmin quaffs the potion and peers at herself, sighing in relief as she returns to her normal age. Benden Weyr> Kethran really does need to bamf, folks . Benden Weyr> R'val apologizes profusely to Jazmin for turning her into an old prune :) Benden Weyr> You hear a bugle of shock from Jazmin's ledge, << I'm green!!! >> Benden Weyr> Vidarth perks up. << Chaeth! My DEAR Chaeth.. >> Benden Weyr> Kassima uh-ohs.... :) Benden Weyr> Chaeth peers at him(her?)self.. << Am I supposed to glow like this? >> Benden Weyr> Kethran eeps as Jazmin gets proddy. "Ut-oh." Benden Weyr> Vidarth CROONS! << Yes, you are! You look /so/ lovely when you do it, too. >> Benden Weyr> Kassima cackles madly. "It's alive! It's aliiiiiiive!" What this has to do with anything, who knows? But Kassi's always wanted to say that. Benden Weyr> Kethran just hopes Jehrina doesn't log on into the middle of this ;) Benden Weyr> Jazmin hides.. that's a damn BIG green. Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan blinkblinks dewily at the incorporeal greenriders. Fortunately, the PubertyBomb hasn't youthened his brain along with his body, and he is unfazed by bodily greenriders who can, after all, be eluded. And interested in getting out of sight -- after all, he's got work to do, he's a loyal bronze rider! -- he starts sauntering out of the way while everybody is distracted by ProddyChaeth. Benden Weyr> Lysseth welcomes Chaeth to the sisterhood of green dragons, then bugles as she spots YoungF'hlan trying to escape. << Hey! You can't do that, it's not in the script! >> Benden Weyr> Chaeth warbles baffled and looks down.. << But I'm not a sister! >> Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan giggles in a piping tenor. "It is now!" And on his long young legs, he sprints off across the Bowl. Benden Weyr> R'val says, "You are now ;}" Benden Weyr> Kassima points out to Chaeth, using that irrefutable Greenriderlogic, that only sisters can glow bright green like that. Then she and Lysseth wing off after F'hlan, determined to beat him to wherever he's going. Benden Weyr> Jehrina says, "Not a chance. If anyone gets F'hlan, it's me. :)" Benden Weyr> Kassima grins and bows to Rina. "Be my guest." :) Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan gulps, "Ohmigosh, the Weyrwoman!" He coughs, trying to hide the squeak in his voice, and he can't quite manage it as he says brightly, "Um, hi, 'Rina..." Benden Weyr> Chaeth whimpers to the weyrwoman, << I'm green!! >> Benden Weyr> Jehrina grins at F'hlan. "I don't bite. Really." Benden Weyr> Jehrina then eyes Chaeth. Benden Weyr> Chaeth sits and glows green back at Jehrina. Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan smiles weakly at Jehrina as his newly re-auburned forelock drapes prettily across his big brown eyes, and he shrugs a little, sheepishly. "Um, 'Rina, I-I-I-I j-j-just want to note that this is n-n-not my fault..." Benden Weyr> Kassima hides her bottle of Evil Puberty-Inducing Potion and whistles innocently. Benden Weyr> Jehrina peers. "Ok, what'd I miss?" Benden Weyr> Kethran hears the Weyrwoman proclaim that she doesn't bite... and falls over in a dead faint. =) Benden Weyr> Jehrina ok, I don't bite hard. Benden Weyr> Jazmin pssts to Jehrina.. I personally like that I only bite if you ask nicely. :) or if you're lucky.. ;) Benden Weyr> R'val says, "woo woo!" Benden Weyr> Kassima explains that, after much experimentation and with some help from F'nar, she has produced a potion that induces puberty. It was set off on F'hlan, you see... but I'm still not sure why Chaeth's green. Benden Weyr> R'val . o O( It's all my fault for using that age bomb. ) Benden Weyr> Jehrina notes that that's pretty much a given for me, Jazmin. :) Benden Weyr> Jazmin grins, Chaeth turned green when i drank a potion to reverse the age bomb that R'val was throwing at F'hlan and missed. Benden Weyr> R'val nodnods at Jazin. What she said :) Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan sighs, tragically, and mumbles in embarrassment, turning a shade of red that hasn't been seen in Benden Weyr in 18 Turns, "I-I-I can't hunt renegades looking like this!" Benden Weyr> Kassima says, "Ah, but if any of the renegades are female, you won't need to hunt them like that. They may well come out hunting you. ;)" Benden Weyr> R'val can see F'hlan being hunted by rough, evil female raiders.Hee heee. :) Benden Weyr> Jazmin hmms.. c'mere F'hlan.. ;) Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan pouts at Jazmin. "You ARE n-not displaying a" *blush* "professional r-rider attitude." Benden Weyr> Jazmin smiles sweetly, "Oh I can be very professional sweetling..." Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan squeals, "I'm NOT a sweetling! I'm a WINGSECOND!" Benden Weyr> Jehrina betts F'hlan knows mroe about hat than you, Jazmin. He's got what 6 kids?:) Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan nods rapidly at Jehrina. "Six!" Benden Weyr> Jehrina grins. Benden Weyr> Jazmin whistles innocently and winks to F'hlan, pinching a butt as she passes. Benden Weyr> Kassima .o0(You have six kids at age seventeen? Aiyee. ;) She chortles at Jazmin. Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan leaps about three feet into the air, whirls around, and blushes furiously at Jazmin. "I-I-I've been your WEYRLEADER!" he squeaks at the brown-er, greenrider in indignation, blushing magenta. Benden Weyr> Chaeth rumbles, << I wanna be brown! >> Benden Weyr> R'val . o O ( Trust F'hlan to be one of those teenagers who doesn't have acne ;) ) Benden Weyr> Vidarth blinks at Chaeth, lovesmitten. << But you're such a lovely, wonderful, enormous green! >> Benden Weyr> Chaeth peers back at Vidarth and his voice takes on a desperate tone << Please!!? >> Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan is in fact blessed with a marvelously clear complexion, all the better to broadcast many eloquent shades of red in blushes. Benden Weyr> Lysseth warbles. << Why would anyone want to be brown when they could be green? >> Benden Weyr> Vidarth /creels/ lovingly at Chaeth. << Mon amoure! >> Benden Weyr> Chaeth points to Vidarth << There's a good reason to be brown! >> Benden Weyr> Kethran rotfl! Benden Weyr> Lysseth considers. << Hmmm. I think I see your point.... >> Benden Weyr> Pavanth peers. << its on your head.>> Benden Weyr> Kassima |Lysseth starts tinkering with Kassima's home laboratory, trying to find a potion to turn green dragons brown. << Eureka! >> she cries, waving around a bottle of some brownish gunk. She's about to toss the bottle to Chaeth when she takes a second look at Vidarth and, selfishly, uses it on her--err, make that himself. Benden Weyr> Vidarth pouts adorably at Chaeth. << How can you say such a thing, my big green beauty!? >> Benden Weyr> Leilanth snorts. << Oh please. >> Benden Weyr> Chaeth experieced a moment of hopeful anticpation, only to have it crushed by a green.. er.. brown. Benden Weyr> Vidarth eyes Lysseth. << You were greeN? I never even noticed :) >> Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan sneaks off to his weyr, muttering about having to try to explain to his Wing -- assuming that the entire lot of Thunderbolt hasn't fallen under Kassima's evil sway -- why their erstwhile mopheaded Wingleader is suddenly mopheaded again. Benden Weyr> Jehrina thinks P'tran would definitely have a say in the leadership of T'bolt. :) Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan blushingly points the Weyrwoman up to that 'erstwhile' in his previous pose. Benden Weyr> Kassima has more sympathy than her green--err, brown dragon, and sneaks off to Boll to fetch a mug of that Brown Dragon drink for Chaeth. She meanwhile hands a glass of blue dragon to Vidarth, not telling him that it's secretely the green dragon potion with blue food coloring. Benden Weyr> Jehrina ohs, right. :) Benden Weyr> ... unless the Weyrwoman, of course, means that the Evil One needs to go through P'tran to get to Thunderbolt. (Zounds! It's becoming harder to think straight! Could it be that the Puberty Inducing Potion is mentally sending F'hlan back to 17-Turn- oldness?) Benden Weyr> Vidarth is no fool. he throws it at Lysseth, and it somehow turns her into a blue. Benden Weyr> Chaeth works his way slowly through the logic and slurps the drink down.. becoming a drunk brown dragon. Benden Weyr> Lysseth looks with dismay down at his hide. << Oh no! I look like a giant Smurf! >> But then he shrugs, realizing he's still (hopefully) safe from Vidarth as a blue. Benden Weyr> Jehrina thinks any self-respectin' queenrider can stop a wishing to be evil greenrider in her tracks. :) Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan peers hopefully at himself, then at Jehrina. "Can you change me back?" Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan adds, mournfully, "Before I-I-I start believing I-I-I'm, uh, um, a weyrling, ma'am?" (As he speaks, he struggles with a growing urge to salute Jehrina every other word.) Benden Weyr> Vidarth /mwahahahahahhaahahas/ and approaches Lysseth << Now to open my new store. Bite of Lysset. Bwhahahahahahahahaha! >> Benden Weyr> Ryialla just hides. Benden Weyr> Jehrina touches F'hlan with her Goldrider's whip. Everyone knows what sort of hideous powers those have. :) Benden Weyr> R'val shudders in fearsome awe. Touched by the whip. Aie :) Benden Weyr> Jazmin hides in fear of the whip. Benden Weyr> Kassima waffles to Ryi and *fears* the whip as Lysseth eeeks. << Noooo! Not Lyssethburgers! >> He gulps down the potion to make dragons green with a happy sigh. << Not even being safe from Vidarth is worth that. Not quite. >> Benden Weyr> YoungF'hlan drops to his knees, stunned, before the goldrider, but winds up looking like a knight kneeling before his queen, as he mentally and physically recovers 18 turns of experience. He winces a bit as his left leg turns stiff again, but that's a fair price to pay for not saluting everything in sight. "Thank you, my queen." Benden Weyr> Vidarth drats :) Benden Weyr> Kethran just shivers in terror as he contemplates what might happen if Jehrina's whip encountered J'lor's foo. Benden Weyr> Jehrina would win, Kethran. She then waves the whip, becking F'hlan to stand up. "Much better. I like my bronzeriders experienced." :) Benden Weyr> F'hlan rises as ordered, looking mature and weathered again, though for some strange reason he's _still_ got that attractively dangling forelock. "'Rina," he says gruffly, "you should use that on the Evil One." Benden Weyr> Kassima is hiding far, faaaaaaaaaaar away from the Powers of the Whip. Benden Weyr> Jazmin swoons at F'hlan. Just cause. Benden Weyr> Kethran nods to Jehrina. "I just envisioned the irresistible force/immovable object situation" Benden Weyr> F'hlan, restored to his proper age and confidence, just smiles a bit sheepishly at Jazmin, and politely helps her to her feet. "Shouldn't do that in the middle of the floor, rider." Benden Weyr> Jazmin drools.. he spoke to me.. and _touched_ me.. Benden Weyr> Jehrina has a reach that goes to anywhere a Benden rider is. The taps Kassima with the whip. Benden Weyr> R'val bwhahahahas, as Kassi is de-evilled. Benden Weyr> Kassima shrieks and starts to gooify. "I'm melting! I'm meeeeeeeeeeeelting!" Lysseth picks up her rider and dashes to store her in the freezer until she can heal. Benden Weyr> F'hlan's mouth quirks in an embarrassed half-smile. Tsking to himself, he scoops up Jazmin and carries her off to put her down carefully under guard by her inebriated dragon. Benden Weyr> Kethran says, "Bye, all. I'm beat." Benden Weyr> Chaeth hiccups. Benden Weyr> F'hlan grins and waves to Kethran. Benden Weyr> Kassima zhaiwaffles. :) Benden Weyr> Vidarth offers Chaeth a martini. [End log.]