From lhansen@cts.com Tue May 2 09:26:56 1995 Return-Path: Received: from crash.cts.com by netcom11.netcom.com (8.6.12/Netcom) id JAA14697; Tue, 2 May 1995 09:26:54 -0700 Received: by crash.cts.com (Smail3.1.28.1 #23) id m0s6Km5-0000FRC; Tue, 2 May 95 09:26 PDT Message-Id: Subject: PROSE: Losing Patience To: a-angelk@microsoft.com (Angela 'Anna') Date: Tue, 2 May 1995 09:26:12 -0700 (PDT) From: "Lori Hansen" Cc: dewshine@netcom.com (Sh'k'anna Korra'ti) X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL23] Content-Type: text Content-Length: 6373 Status: O Morning! Here's a spot of prose that I typed up this morning. :) Let me know what you think 'fore I post it to the list. Lori ------ Bernadette Marshall's patience is wearing very thin. She doesn't seem to be able to help it, either, no matter how much she reasons with herself that it's not Kevlan's fault he's having difficulty regaining his normal self. 'I'm usually a reasonable woman,' she thinks to herself. 'Kevlan would be patient with me if the tables were turned...' She feels bad. She _wants_ to be more tolerant...she _used_ to be more tolerant. So what happened? ----------- Bernadette sits across the room from Kevlan and Tamber, watching the two men with glazed eyes. Tamber glances over to her once in a while with a soft shake of his red head. She's been sitting like that for more than half an hour now. He doesn't even think she's really seeing young Galahad and himself. The Sorter turns his attention back to Kevlan and the game of checkers they're playing. He studies the board, glances up at Kevlan, who is sitting curled up on the sofa, but mostly paying attention to the game, and then deliberately moves one of his pieces to make a multiple jump available to the young Singer. He sits back in his chair and steeples his fingers under his chin, watching Kevlan's reaction. After a moment or two, he says gently "It is your move, dear boy." Kevlan blinkblinks and blushes at the reminder and looks at the game board. With one thin, long fingered hand he pushes a piece to its new space... either ignoring, or not recognizing the easy move Tamber set up for him. Tamber tsks to himself and sadly looks at the board again, when his peripheral vision detects movement next to him. He looks up quickly to find Bernadette standing beside him looking at the game board. Kevlan has also raised his head sheepishly to look at the girl. Berni blinks at the game, then looks at Kevlan, pointing to the obvious move Tamber had set up for him. "Why didn't you jump these, Kevlan?" Tamber raises his elegant eyebrows. So she was seeing them after all... He shifts his gaze to Kevlan to watch his response. Kevlan turns crimson and looks at the board, then up at Bernadette, then at the board again. He stammers "Ah-Ah d-d-didn't s-see it..." finally, looking abashed. Tamber interjects softly "It's alright, my boy...I might not have seen it as well." He pats Kevlan's hand kindly and gazes up at Bernadette. She's shaking her head slowly, her lips pressed together. Bernadette looks at Kevlan, who's still looking down embarassedly, then at Tamber and replies "Well, I would have seen it." Kevlan's blush deepens. With a sigh, Bernadette announces, "I'm going for a walk," and heads for the door. She stops and says "You can come if you want," to Kevlan who peeks up at her from beneath his overgrown bangs and shakes his head, stammering "Ah g-gotta finish th-the g-g-game..." She shrugs, mutters "Suit yourself..." and exits the suite. Tamber watches Bernadette leave then looks at Kevlan, not missing his dejected, forlorn look. He says softly "She'll be back, Kevlan. She just needs to stretch her legs." Kevlan turns his fawnlike gaze to the Sorter and nods slowly, dropping his eyes to the game board once more. --------------- Bernadette wanders down the corridor to the common lounge and looks around. No one she really recognizes is about, so she leaves again, taking the lift to level 5 and enters marketing. She watches a maintenance person stenciling the new marketing member's name on one of the office doors. She frowns slightly as she reads the name..."Jarred" is all that's in place, but that name rings a bell with her. 'Why can't I concentrate?' she thinks frustratedly to herself and attempts to focus her thoughts on the name and where she's heard it before. Her arm wraps around her ribs unconsciously and her eyes widen as she finally recalls. The recruit on Shankill. The one that pulled a knife on her and broke her ribs. She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head, hoping to not run into him. The maintenance person looks at her inquiringly for a moment, shrugs, then goes back to his business. Berni blinks and looks confused for a moment. 'What did I come up here for?' She glances around the room and her eyes come to rest on the other office door in the room. "Alexandra Behrens" the plaque on the door reads. She nods. That's right. Came here to see Alex. She knocks lightly on the door then enters after receiving no response. The office is empty. Bernadette frowns a little and gazes across the room, noting another door. She crosses to it, presses the door chime and waits. No answer. She presses the door chime again and waits some more. While she's waiting, she shudders suddenly, blinking once the shaking subsides bemusedly. 'What was that for?' she wonders. She's not cold. She blinks again and turns away from Alex's door as she continues to get no answer. Must not be home. She pauses in the middle of Alex's office and strains to catch any sign of even the slightest bit of resonance in her body...and finds none. She frowns again. She's known that she wasn't resonating anymore for a while now. But she's never gone this long without cutting and isn't familiar with the different tell-tale signs her symbiont gives when it's been deprived. Bernadette makes her way back out to the lift area and takes it up to the ground floor...not yet ready to go back to the suite she shares with Kevlan. Eventually, she finds herself outside the complex in the "Quiet Spot" she hasn't visited in nearly a year. "That's why..." she whispers aloud to no one. She's been losing patience because of her symbiont's need for crystal. She's been unable to concentrate for the same reason. And if she's starting to shudder...it's only a matter of time until it escalates into spasms...and worse, if she remembers correctly. With a sigh, she sits on the ground, leaning against the wall. She knows she won't go into the ranges without Kevlan. He can't be that far behind her in his own symbiont's needs. She needs him to sing again... She looks sadly at the guitar she's pulled across her lap from its position against her back and strums the strings, listening to the chord echo back to her from the distant ranges. She shudders again. Something needs to happen to break Kevlan out of his mental prison...and soon.